MARRY ME: 3 ½ STARS
If falling in love was simple, there'd be no need for romantic comedies. Relationships are complicated, and rom coms can teach us the importance of confessing love to someone who's about to board a plane or train, how burning hatred can morph into red hot passion, and how to make out in the rain.
All are valuable lessons for the romantically challenged. Thanks to lovey-dovey pioneers like Drew Barrymore, Kathryn Heigl and Jennifer Lopez, the movies taught us how to hurdle any romantic roadblock.
Lopez returns with more life and love lessons after a twelve-year rom com sabbatical in "Marry Me," a musical riff on "Notting Hill," in theatres just in time for Valentine's Day.
Lopez plays her fictionalized doppelgänger, a pop superstar named Kat Valdez. She's a chart-topper, a fashion plate, a staple on social media and advertising campaigns.
In other words, she's Jennifer Lopez, except that everyone calls her Kat.
Kat is engaged to singer Bastian (Maluma), because who is one pop star supposed to marry except another pop star? Their nuptials will happen on-stage and online in front of an estimated 20 million people. Seconds before they are to sing their new hit single "Marry Me" and exchange "I dos," Kat discovers Bastian has been having an affair with her assistant.
Cue the tearful, mascara-smearing speech about true love and living the "truth behind the headlines." The wedding is off. Or is it? In the audience is Charlie (Owen Wilson), single father and math teacher. He's a fish out of water who doesn't know Kat's music and is only there because his co-worker Parker (a wisecracking Sarah Silverman) had extra tickets for him and his daughter (Chloe Coleman).
From the stage Kat notices the square-peg Charlie because he's holding a giant sign Parker brought along that reads "Marry Me." In what could be the ultimate "meet cute" in rom com history, she takes the message literally, invites Charlie to the stage and before you can say "Holy Publicity Stunt Batman!" they are pronounced husband and wife.
"I was impulsive. Without a plan," Kat later says at a press conference. "But look where my plans got me."
You know the rest.
Rom coms are not about the destination, they are all about the journey, the happily ever after and "Marry Me" is a good ride. It would be easy to see this as a cynical package of story and product placement for the soundtrack album, but there is nothing cynical about the movie. Lopez embraces the form, especially the fantasy, 21st century fairy tale aspect, to create a romance so light and frothy it threatens to float away into the clouds. It's an old school rom com that works because of the chemistry between Lopez and Wilson. The spark between them and the sheer weight of the silly premise keeps the movie earthbound.
"Marry Me" works because it understands what it is, an old-fashioned rom com with a 21st century gloss. It's a fashion show with a few laughs. An issue of "Architectural Digest" style life-style porn with romance and a musical with love lessons about not judging a book by its cover, of female empowerment and the grand gesture of renting out the entirety of Coney Island for a birthday celebration. As Parker says, "This is the most unbelievable thing that could happen in life," but this isn't life, it's a rom com.
DEATH ON THE NILE: 3 STARS
In the whodunnit genre, few names loom larger than Agatha Christie. The author of 66 novels and 14 short story collections was known as the Mistress of Mystery and holds a Guinness World Record as the best-selling fiction writer of all time.
Her books are the fuel for countless stage plays, television shows and movies, but the spark that make the novels so entertaining often goes missing in translation.
It speaks volumes that the best Christie movie of late, 鈥淜nives Out,鈥 isn鈥檛 an adaptation of her work. It borrows from the mechanics of her best stories, including the climatic singling out of the murderer in a roomful of suspects, to make the most enjoyable movie tribute to her style in years and that includes Kenneth Branagh鈥檚 2017 thriller 鈥淢urder on the Orient Express,鈥 which is actually based on a Christie classic.
The director takes a second kick at the Christie can with 鈥淒eath on the Nile,鈥 an adaptation of the writer鈥檚 best-selling 1937 mystery of jealousy, wealth and death.
The film begins with a flashback to the First World War and the origin of Belgian soldier Hercule Poirot鈥檚 (Branagh) flamboyant moustache.
Cut to 1937. Poirot, now a world-renowned detective, is on vacation in Egypt aboard the lavishly appointed ship S.S. Karnak. Also aboard are heiress Linnet (Gal Gadot) and her new husband Simon (Armie Hammer), a glamourous, honeymooning couple cruising the Nile in an effort to hide from the jealous Jacqueline (Emma Mackey), who happens to be Linnet鈥檚 jealous former friend and Simon鈥檚 ex-lover. Jacqueline has other plans, however, and comes along for the ride. 鈥淚t鈥檚 indecent,鈥 says Simon. 鈥淪he鈥檚 making a fool of herself.鈥
Linnet fears that Jacqueline is up to no good and reaches out to Poirot to look out for her safety on the ship. 鈥淢aybe Jacqueline hasn鈥檛 committed a crime yet,鈥 she says, 鈥渂ut she will. She always settles her scores.鈥
When Linnet turns up dead, Jacqueline is the obvious suspect, but she has a rock-solid alibi.
So, who could the killer be? Is it Linnet鈥檚 former fiancé Linus Windlesham (a very subdued Russell Brand)? Jazz singer Salome Otterbourne (Sophie Okonedo)? Maybe it鈥檚 Marie Van Schuyler (Jennifer Saunders), Linnet鈥檚 communist godmother, or Rosalie Otterbourne (Letitia Wright) Linnet鈥檚 old classmate.
Only one person can get to the bottom of the matter. 鈥淚 am Detective Hercule Poirot and I will deliver your killer.鈥
鈥淗e鈥檚 a bloodhound,鈥 says Rosalie, 鈥渟o let him sniff.鈥
鈥淒eath on the Nile鈥 has an old-fashioned Hollywood epic feel to it. There鈥檚 glamour, beautiful costumes worn by even more beautiful people set against an exotic backdrop shot with sweeping, expensive-looking crane shots over CGI pyramids. There are, as they used to say, more stars than there are in the heavens populating the screen and a knotty mystery that only Poirot can untie.
It also feels old fashioned in its storytelling. Branagh takes his time setting the scene, adding in two prologues before landing in Egypt. It takes almost an hour to get to the sleuthing and the weaving together of the clues and the characters. The leisurely pace sucks much of the immediacy out of the story, and despite all the moving parts, the mystery isn鈥檛 particularly intriguing.
More intriguing is Branagh鈥檚 take on Poirot. On film the detective has often been played as the object of fun, and while the character鈥檚 ego, persnickety personality and quirky moustache are very much on display, here he is a serious man, heartbroken and brimming with regret. We learn how the death of a loved one changed him, turning him into the man we see today. It鈥檚 a new take on the crime solver that breathes some new life into the character鈥檚 lungs.
Then there is the pyramid in the room. Yes, Armie Hammer, the bland slab of a leading man, has a large role in the action. He is so interwoven into the movie that he couldn鈥檛 be cut out, à la Kevin Spacey in 鈥淎ll the Money in the World,鈥 despite his recent scandals. At any rate, despite having one of the larger roles, he doesn鈥檛 make much of an impression.
鈥淒eath on the Nile鈥檚鈥 high style and all-star murder mystery may please Agatha Christie aficionados, but it could use a little more of the 鈥淜nives Out鈥 vibe to make it feel less old fashioned and conventional.
I WANT YOU BACK: 4 STARS
鈥淚 Want You Back,鈥 a new rom com starring Jenny Slate and Charlie Day and now streaming on Amazon, begins with dueling break-ups.
Noah (Scott Eastwood) and Emma (Slate) have been together for 18 months. She鈥檚 comfortable and content. He鈥檚 an A-Type on the hunt for the next thing in life, who happens to appear in the form of Ginny (Clark Backo), the statuesque owner of a local pie shop.
Peter (Day) and Anne (Gina Rodriguez) are six years in when she blindsides him. He鈥檚 too complacent, she says as she dumps him. She wants a bigger life, one filled with excitement, and she thinks she鈥檒l find that with local theatre director Logan (Manny Jacinto).
Emma and Peter are dumped and devastated.
This is a rom com, so it is inevitable that the grieving Emma and Peter will meet cute. Turns out, they work in the same office tower and spend time in the same stairwell, crying and longing for their exes. When they finally meet, she is smeared with mascara, he has the toilet paper he used to wipe away his tears stuck to his face. They respond to each other鈥檚 pain and begin a platonic friendship.
They sing 鈥淵ou Oughta Know鈥 at karaoke, get drunk and attempt to make one another feel better. 鈥淒ying alone is not so bad,鈥 Emma says. 鈥淗aving someone to watch you die is embarrassing.鈥 They go to the movies, have lunch, lurk on their exes鈥 Instagrams and hatch a plan. Emma will infiltrate Anne and Logan鈥檚 relationship as Peter makes friends with Noah and Ginny, both trying to drive a wedge in the new relationships. 鈥淭hey might not know they should be with us,鈥 Emma says, 鈥渨ith all these new shiny people around.鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚 like 鈥楥ruel Intentions,鈥 Peter says, 鈥渂ut sexier.鈥
鈥淗ow is it sexier?鈥
鈥淚t isn鈥檛.鈥
The chemistry Slate and Day share, as actors and characters, (NOT A SPOILER, JUST THE WAY ROM COMS WORK) make it clear who should be partnered with who by the time the end credits roll. This is, after all, a rom com so the outcome isn鈥檛 a secret. It鈥檚 all about the journey, how the two most likable characters in the movie will finally find their happily ever after. 鈥淚 Want You Back鈥 offers up a fun journey that travels ground most rom coms have voyaged before but does so with laughs and heart.
There are hijinks and farce 鈥 a proposed three-way tryst, a very uncomfortable hiding spot and unrequited love 鈥 but the clichés of Katherine Heigl-style rom coms are blunted with edgy humor topped off with a helping of romance. The movie allows Slate and Day to bring their unique comic gifts to the material while keeping it on the rom com straight and narrow.
鈥淚 Want You Back鈥 doesn鈥檛 reinvent the wheel, but the eager cast keeps the predictable parts of the story interesting and very funny.
BLACKLIGHT: 2 STARS
At this point, it is just a given that if you are related to Liam Neeson in a movie, you鈥檙e likely going to end up in a bad way. Most famously, the 鈥淭aken鈥 movies saw his wife and kids get abducted and in 鈥淐old Pursuit鈥 his son was killed by drug dealers.
Neeson and his special set of skills are back with the release of 鈥淏lacklight,鈥 a kidnapping flick that breathes the same air as the franchise that made him an action star.
The Irish actor plays Travis Block, an 鈥渙ff the books鈥 FBI agent who fixes sticky situations by any means necessary. 鈥淏reaking and entering, physical coercion,鈥 he says, 鈥測ou name it, I鈥檝e probably done it.鈥
He specializes in rescuing operatives whose covers have been blown but, late in his career, he develops doubts about his life鈥檚 work. He wants to be more involved with his granddaughter Natalie鈥檚 (Gabriella Sengos) upbringing than he was with his daughter Amanda (Claire van der Boom).
He's serious about changing his ways, so when his granddaughter Natalie asks, 鈥淕randpa, are you a good guy?鈥 he truthfully replies, 鈥淚 want to be.鈥
His plan for being a retired grandpa, however, are kicked to the curb when an unstable deep cover agent (Taylor John Smith) goes rogue and tells Block about a special FBI operation that targets and kills innocent U.S. citizens under the guise of protecting democracy.
鈥淥ne day you wake up,鈥 he says, 鈥渁nd realize you鈥檙e not sure who the good guys are anymore.鈥
Journalist Mira Jones (Emmy Raver-Lampman), who has been sniffing around the story for some time, fills him in on the details, including a link between the conspiracy and FBI director Gabriel Robinson (Aidan Quinn). 鈥淗ow many have to die for you to look the other way?鈥 she asks.
Looking the other way isn鈥檛 an option when Block鈥檚 daughter and granddaughter go missing. He suspects Robinson had something to do with their disappearance and vows to do something about it. 鈥淚f I find out you had anything to do with my granddaughter going missing,鈥 he warns the FBI head honcho, 鈥測ou鈥檙e going to need more men.鈥
And the plot, such that it is, thickens.
With none of the fun Eurotrash panache of 鈥淭aken,鈥 too many movie-of-the-week characters and a plot with all the suspense of a Tim Horton鈥檚 commercial, 鈥淏lacklist鈥 doesn鈥檛 belong on the same shelf with Neeson鈥檚 best action flicks. Inert and stodgy, it never gets to lift-off.
Still, there is no denying Neeson鈥檚 screen presence. Even in cut rate fare like this he鈥檚 watchable. It鈥檚 just that he has visited this well too many times. Once again, he鈥檚 the tough guy cliché, a loner fighting against impossible odds, using his special set of skills to even scores and, in doing so, invites comparisons to other, better movies.
DRIVE MY CAR: 4 STARS
Despite a title that sounds like it could be a reboot of Jason Statham鈥檚 wild 鈥榥 wooly 鈥淭ransporter鈥 series, 鈥淒rive My Car,鈥 the Japanese Oscar entry for best international feature and now playing in theatres, is not an action film. It is a slow, meditative film about self-acceptance and regret whose only action comes in the form of emotional reckoning and keenly observed human behaviour.
Based on a short story by Murakami Haruki, the three-hour 鈥淒rive My Car鈥 centres on Yusuke Kafuku (Hidetoshi Nishijima), an actor-director grieving the sudden passing of his wife Oto (Reika Kirishima). Even though he walked in on his wife and her lover shortly before she died, he is devastated by her death. After a two-year break from work, during which he tried to piece his life back together, he accepts a job directing a production of Anton Chekhov鈥檚 鈥淯ncle Vanya鈥 at a theatre festival in Hiroshima.
He drives solo to Hiroshima in his vintage Talladega Red Saab 900 Aero coupe but is told that during his stay he鈥檒l have to have a chauffeur named Misaki Watari (Toko Miura) drive him from place to place. Although his car has been a welcome isolation chamber for him during his bereavement, he reluctantly agrees to allow the 23-year-old woman control of the car.
Meanwhile, at work, Kafuku makes some odd choices. He casts the role of Sonya with an actress who uses Korean sign language and hires a scandal-ridden TV star, Koji Takatsuki (Masaki Okada) in 鈥淯ncle Vanya鈥檚鈥 lead role.
The show鈥檚 rehearsals are difficult but outside the theatre, in the Saab, Kafuku and Watari become close, sharing stories about the most troubled aspects of their lives. Ultimately, lessons about moving forward are learned as the unlikely pair get to know one another.
鈥淒rive My Car鈥 is a quiet, introspective, odd-couple movie. Director Ryusuke Hamaguchi is unafraid to set his own pace as his characters search for answers to the questions that have rooted themselves in their psyches. It is slow but not listless. Patient viewers will be rewarded with a deeply felt relationship movie that sees two characters working through their personal recoveries to find a path forward in life.
The performances by Nishijima and Miura are understated, but as they connect there is an undeniable sense of growth and, by the end of their time together, a sense of freedom from the memories and events that have dented their spirit.
