Saskatoon writer James Avramenko didn鈥檛 want to be one of those people who 鈥渄ramatically鈥 declare they鈥檙e leaving Facebook.
To be sure, he is going to unfriend each of his nearly 600 Facebook friends, but not without personally telling each of them why.
Avramenko is phoning long-lost friends, old bosses, a groomsman, childhood pals and even an ex-bully to give them a heads up as to why they鈥檙e being 鈥淔acebook dumped,鈥 he told CTVNews.ca in a phone interview.
These conversations can become 鈥渦nderstandably awkward鈥 but, with their permission, he鈥檚 been recording them and turning them into a podcast called 鈥.鈥
鈥淲hen you initially tell people you鈥檙e going to unfriend them, they can take it personally,鈥 he said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 taken as an insult like 鈥榳hy don鈥檛 you like me?鈥 But as soon as I tell them what I鈥檓 doing, those feelings melt away.鈥
It was about 鈥渨anting to get off Facebook in some capacity but also not wanting to lose touch with the people.鈥
He said he wanted to be more 鈥渕indful about the relationships I鈥檓 cultivating鈥 because 鈥淚鈥檓 not seeing or speaking to the people I want to be 鈥 and I want to get back to talking to people.鈥
Avramenko admits he was partially inspired by some of his friends 鈥渄ramatically鈥 declaring they were leaving Facebook and laughs that 鈥渋t鈥檚 not that I didn鈥檛 respect it but I always found it bizarrely confrontational.鈥
So he felt the personal touch was the way to go instead.
HOST: SCROLLING THROUGH FACEBOOK 'FORM OF VOYEURISM'
Despite Facebook鈥檚 initial promise when it was founded in 2004 of connecting family and long-lost friends, Avramenko believes the site has now become a source of both anxiety and 鈥disconnectedness.鈥
鈥(It) has made us think that we鈥檙e more connected than we truly are -- it makes us think we鈥檙e interacting in a way that doesn鈥檛 actually exist,鈥 he said, adding that if we think about it, our behaviours online are 鈥渒ind of bizarre.鈥
鈥淲e mindlessly scroll through and look at people鈥檚 photos and think that we have somehow been in contact with them and we haven鈥檛,鈥 he said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 sort of a form of voyeurism.鈥
But he didn鈥檛 always see Facebook as a superficial collection of connections devoid of 鈥渕eaningful interactions.鈥
Avramenko lost touch with people as he and his wife moved from Calgary to Victoria to Vancouver to Saskatoon. And each time they did, he鈥檚 had to pick up his roots and replant them in completely new cities.
So early on, when he started his account in 2005, Facebook was a 鈥渂lessing in maintaining these sort of pseudo-connections.鈥
But 14 years later, he realized he was spending more time scrolling through his newsfeed than actually knowing what鈥檚 going on with his 鈥渇riends.鈥
TURNING RECONNECTIONS INTO 'FRIENDLESS' PODCAST
To deal with his Facebook identity crisis, he began reaching out to old friends earlier this year and recording his conversations. In July, one of those people he reached out to was Juno-award-winning fiddler Ben Plotnick who鈥檇 been his elementary school friend in Calgary.
They hadn鈥檛 spoken in close to 20 years. So when Avramenko called him, he was 鈥渃aught up on the life that he lived and the adventures he鈥檚 had -- it was a really empowering thing.鈥
After awkwardly getting over the fact they hadn鈥檛 spoken for decades, they also laughed together, apologized for growing apart and bonded over conversation about their careers and reminiscenced of their school days.
鈥淎fter all those years, we found things to relate to each other and that鈥檚 actually something I found magical,鈥 he said of the call that became the basis for one of the first 30 episodes of his aptly-named podcast, 鈥淔riendless.鈥
鈥淲e were friends for ten years on Facebook and the first time I messaged was asking him to be on the podcast. We weren鈥檛 being friends to each other, we were (being) statistics to each other,鈥 Avramenko said.
Other episodes have featured him 鈥渦nfriending鈥 his groomsman Matt Coulson, an old travelling companion and an ex-bully. Each of them, in one way or another, end up pledging to make more of an effort to keep up with each other in real life.
Finding a reason to take up podcasting was fortunate for Avramenko, who boasts a trained background in theatre, because he鈥檚 always looked for a reason to start one.
And now he gets to do it connecting with people he misses.
He hopes that 10 years from now, Facebook won鈥檛 exist. Although, Avramenko laughs that it could be replaced with something else as 鈥渁 lot of the people I unfriend end up adding me on Instagram.鈥
