TORONTO -- Grieving? Traumatized? Depressed? Unmotivated? Burnt out? It鈥檚 difficult to put a single word to the general malaise many people have been feeling during the pandemic.
But 鈥渓anguishing鈥 is a pretty good fit.
First applied to our global mood last month, in a widely shared New York Times article, the word has been embraced as a helpful descriptor for the pandemic blues.
While many of us may also be grieving or experiencing depression due to the pandemic, languishing is an apt word to describe the stagnant feeling the pandemic has wrought in many peoples鈥 lives.
鈥淟anguishing is essentially described as a feeling of emptiness, numb, feeling stuck, feeling as though we have no motivation, no ability to focus, tasks take longer,鈥 psychotherapist Sarah Ahmed explained on CTV鈥檚 Your Morning Tuesday.
She said those symptoms are among the most common that people have been reporting during the pandemic.
A lot of it is due to the uncertainty that the pandemic creates, and how it interrupts motivators like planning events or creating life goals for the future.
鈥淣ow we鈥檙e passing second birthdays, second anniversaries, second graduations in June, people might have to postpone their weddings for a second time this summer, and that again just exacerbates those symptoms,鈥 Ahmed said.
Another factor is that, on top of our own personal struggles, we鈥檙e still dealing with global issues that persist despite the pandemic, or because of it.
鈥淲hat we鈥檙e seeing on the news, media headlines about what鈥檚 going on in Palestine, the COVID crisis in India, further makes you feel very stuck, very helpless, very numb as well, and it鈥檚 very distressing to the body also,鈥 Ahmed said.
She pointed out that there is one good side to lives being put on pause by the pandemic.
鈥淚t鈥檚 forced people to stop and take a look at what鈥檚 going on, what鈥檚 going on that kept me so busy, that kept me so occupied, and why do I feel like this?鈥 she explained.
Some people looking for purpose are experiencing the so-called mid-life crisis earlier as a result.
When the daily grind is interrupted, we can better reflect on whether that pre-pandemic attitude of hustling to get work done, to fill every minute, to always be advancing, is actually what we want.
鈥淚 think people have been reflecting more and more on that, which, I would say, is a silver lining in the last fifteen months,鈥 she said, adding that she sees people asking themselves, 鈥淲hat are some choices that I want to make that are aligned with my life goals?
鈥淲hich has been wonderful to see.鈥
This doesn鈥檛 mean that languishing is good for us.
Ahmed acknowledged that it might not seem so bad day-to-day for many people. Those who haven鈥檛 been greatly affected by the pandemic itself outside of this languishing might think that things aren鈥檛 so bad.
鈥淚t鈥檚 a feeling of 鈥極h, I鈥檓 not really depressed, but I鈥檓 not really that happy either, I鈥檓 kind of stuck in the middle.鈥 Not too bad if you look at it like that,鈥 Ahmed said.
But leaving those feelings unaddressed can lead to further issues and greater mental health struggles.
Ahmed is concerned that, as we emerge from the pandemic, we could also be moving towards a wave of poor mental health as people struggle to understand why returning to normal does not immediately make them feel better.
鈥淲e鈥檙e going to see huge waves of people experiencing mental health concerns, burnout, as we move towards normalcy,鈥 she predicts.
So how do we deal with languishing?
It can be frustrating to be given tips to improve your mental health when the situation that has caused or is exacerbating your poor mental health 鈥 a global pandemic 鈥 is beyond your control.
But Ahmed stressed that there are ways to manage the feeling and keep from sinking into depression.
鈥淭he goal always, I say to clients, 鈥榃e鈥檙e not trying to thrive over here, nothing about what we鈥檙e in right now is normal, that we鈥檙e just trying to survive鈥,鈥 she said. 鈥淎nd what does that look like? It鈥檚 by keeping your head a little bit above water.鈥
Having an awareness of how you鈥檙e feeling and what鈥檚 going on around you is important.
鈥淪peak to your friends, share experiences, educate yourself, go and read some information from credible sources,鈥 she said.
鈥淐heck in with yourself 鈥 what that looks like is a mood rating scale, so a scale of zero to ten, how are you feeling today?鈥
She also suggested that people find terms to describe their feelings, and name the emotions that they鈥檙e struggling with.
鈥淚t actually helps regulate the emotions, or the intensity of the emotions, when you put a name to it,鈥 she said.
It鈥檚 why some have gravitated to the word 鈥渓anguishing.鈥
鈥淜nowing that there鈥檚 a term called languishing makes us feel much better than like, 鈥極h my gosh, okay, I thought I was just losing it.鈥欌
Her last recommendation? Take things one day at a time.
鈥淲e鈥檙e not planning three months out from now cause we don鈥檛 know what that鈥檚 going to look like,鈥 she said.
鈥淕o outdoors, have a small task for the day, block off time every single day, so maybe that looks like just an hour [鈥 and find something that鈥檚 moderately challenging and stimulating as well.鈥
Something to keep us going while we languish together in this ongoing pandemic.
