FIFTY SHADES FREED: 1 STAR
The 鈥淔ifty Shades鈥� franchise once lived at the very center of popular culture as a publishing phenomenon then as a blockbuster movie. Interest in the shenanigans of slap 鈥榥 tickle enthusiasts Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey waned for the second film instalment. Now we鈥檙e at the third and final movie, 鈥淔ifty Shades Freed,鈥� and it feels like breaking up with someone you know you鈥檒l never see again. You feel relief that it is over mixed with regret that you wasted all that time in the first place.
Things get underway when Christian (Jamie Dornan) and Ana (Dakota Johnson) tie the knot; on an altar this time, not in the bedroom. Their glamorous French honeymoon is disturbed when Ana wants to go topless on the beach while Christian, that blushing flower, wants her covered up, for his eyes only. 鈥淒o you want to be ogled by every guy on the beach?鈥� he whines.
That speed bump aside, things are mostly status quo for the newlyweds. I said mostly. This is a 鈥淔ifty Shades鈥� movie, so it鈥檚 not all happily ever after. Bedroom bondage soon leads to a pregnancy that leaves Christian upset. (The least I think he鈥檚 upset. It鈥檚 hard to tell with Dornan). 鈥淵ou鈥檙e going to take her from me aren鈥檛 you?鈥� he whispers to her pregnant belly. Looks like he鈥檚 not ready to turn the Red Room of Pain into a nursery just yet.
Sparks fly as she tries to assert herself.
Meanwhile Ana鈥檚 former-boss-turned-stalker Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson) ups his game as Christian discovers a dark secret from his past.
There鈥檚 more, but nobody really goes to the 鈥淔ifty Shades鈥� movies for the plot so let鈥檚 move on.
The sexiest thing about 鈥淔ifty Shades Freed鈥� is the way Ana handles the Audi in a high-ish speed chase through the streets of Seattle. Sure clothes are doffed and handcuffed snapped shut but there is so little fusion between these two allegedly steamy lovers it鈥檚 as though they have never met in real life and are acting to green screen versions of each other.
The hour-and-forty-five-minute running time is padded out with music montages鈥攊ncluding one interlude where Christian plays piano and sings 鈥淢aybe I鈥檓 Amazed鈥� to less than amazing effect鈥攁nd time wasters like a flirty architect subplot. It鈥檚 part erotic adventure, part revenge story and part 鈥淟ifestyles of the Rich and Kinky.鈥� It鈥檚 all of those things and yet, somehow, less than the sum of its well-toned parts.
The occasional moment of camp fun鈥斺�淲e don鈥檛 have any restraints,鈥� says a security guard while manhandling a suspect. 鈥淲e do,鈥� offers Anna.鈥攁re buffered by elegantly shot but empty moments that fill the time between sex scenes.
鈥淔ifty Shades Freed鈥� comes at an interesting time. The story of a rich, powerful man who tries to control every situation with only minor pushback from the woman in his life seems like yesterday鈥檚 tale in the post-Harvey Weinstein era. The movies, I think, are meant to be sexy romps and a bit of fun, but at the end, the series has proven itself to be ten pounds of sex toys in a five pound bag.
PERMISSION: 2 ½ STARS
Recently CNN reported on a study that claimed cuckolding can be positive for some couples. Their reporting of it was roundly mocked online, with one Twitter user dubbing CNN the 鈥淐uckolding News Network鈥� while another called it, 鈥渁 brilliant idea for strengthening your relationship in time for Valentine's Day!鈥� Validity of the study aside, 鈥淧ermission,鈥� a new movie starring Rebecca Hall, explores the same territory.
Will (Dan Stevens) and Anna (Hall) have been sweethearts since high school. Now, on the cusp of her thirtieth birthday he鈥檚 about to pop the question. First though she drunkenly proposes they sleep around a bit. Not break up, but get some life experience before they settle down. At first they encourage one another in a bit of harmless fun but as their polyamorous relationships start to deepen uncomfortable realities are revealed.
Director-writer Brian Crano takes a thoughtful and mature approach to the material but his delivery of it feels scattershot. The first hour has an effervescence to it that disappears as the various story threads wrap up. In the beginning, it feels sexy and dangerous but as Anna鈥檚 relationship with musician Dane (Francois Arnaud) and Will鈥檚 fling with divorcée Lydia (Gina Gershon) heat up, questions arise. How far can you stray even with permission?
The final third contains the film鈥檚 most essential truths. In a dramatic shift in tone from the first hour, the harsh realisms of this arrangement appear. Also effective is a subplot about Anna鈥檚 brother Hale (David Joseph Craig), his boyfriend Reece (Morgan Spector) and their desire (or not) to have a baby. It is heartfelt and could definitely been given more screen time.
鈥淧ermission鈥� is easily more interesting than CNN鈥檚 treatment of the same material. Although uneven it is an interesting look at the responsibilities that come with adult relationships.
ENTANGLEMENT: 2 STARS
鈥淓ntanglement鈥� stars 鈥淪ilicon Valley鈥檚鈥� Thomas Middleditch as a man who almost finds fulfillment with a woman who was almost his sister.
When we first meet Benjamin Layten he is at his lowest point. Recently divorced from a woman he still loves, he attempts suicide, only to be rescued by a courier and his neighbour Tabby (Diana Bang). Dour and darkly funny鈥斺�淒o you like yourself?鈥� he鈥檚 asked. 鈥淎s a friend?鈥� he replies. 鈥淥r as a friend with benefits?鈥濃�攈e is adrift, unhappy and looking for answers.
To get to the bottom of his gloomy mood, he maps out all the bad things that have happened to him鈥攊.e. 鈥淒ropped on my head at mom鈥檚 pool party.鈥濃�攊n an elaborate attempt to pinpoint where he went wrong in life. It鈥檚 not until he discovers his parents adopted a baby girl and then gave her back that he sees some light in the darkness. 鈥淲e鈥檙e going to find out who this girl is,鈥� he tells Tabby, 鈥渁nd see if she can fix my life.鈥�
Thinking that having a sister would have made him feel less awkward鈥斺�淪he would have taught me how to talk to girls and how to dance,鈥� he begins his quest and almost immediately tracks her down. Hannah (Jess Weixler) is an adrenaline junkie who shoplifts, can pick any lock on any door and lives just a few blocks away. They meet, they hit it off and soon become romantically involved. (SPOILER ALERT!!!) But is she the girl of his dreams or a girl in his dreams?
鈥淓ntanglement鈥� is a neurotic rom com that starts off promisingly as a dark comedy but then falls too in love with its premise. Striking visuals and nice performances from Middleditch and Weixler鈥攈e鈥檚 a sad sack, she鈥檚 a sparkplug鈥攃an鈥檛 cover up a script that leans to heavily on the idea of Quantum Entanglement鈥攑articles that are apart yet connected (romantic, right?)鈥攁nd not enough on allowing the characters to behave like real people. The quirk factor is dialled up rather high as though this was an unproduced script left over from the Manic Pixie Dream Girl heyday of the late 1990s.
The moments of 鈥淓ntanglement鈥� that work seem to really work, teasing the promise of a better movie. As it is, the scant 85-minute running time is padded with too many musical montages that leaves us simultaneously wanting more and less.
FAKE BLOOD: 3 STARS
鈥淔ake Blood,鈥� a new film from Vancouver director Rob Grant, blurs the line between fact and fiction.
Grant and his filmmaking partner Mike Kovac play themselves as, well, Rob and Mike, two guys who have made a number of low-budget horror films. Their movies 鈥淵esterday鈥� and 鈥淢on Ami鈥� are gruesome little slices of splatter that found success and a few fans on the festival circuit.
When one of those 鈥渇ans鈥� sends them a disturbing video that re-enacts one of the scenes in 鈥淢on Ami鈥濃�攖he grainy video details the real-life tools they would need to dispose of a body鈥攖hey decide to examine their relationship with the violence they portray on screen. They discuss the difference between shooting guns in real life vs. on film and how a fistfight generally lasts only about eight seconds in reality. As they document their findings they decide to up the game and contact someone who has a history of violence. Their journey takes a perilous turn when they push too hard, go too deep and actually find their lives in danger.
Down 鈥榥 dirty, 鈥淔ake Blood鈥� gradually morphs from social commentary documentary鈥攁lbeit a mock doc鈥攖o thriller. It is not always 100% convincing鈥攕ome of the performances are slightly stilted鈥攂ut there is an undeniable sense of tension that grows as the film nears the final credits. It鈥檚 a twisted B-movie that makes a smart u-turn, turning the story inside out as the movie flips from asking questions to basking in danger.
