NEW YORK - My friend caught me by surprise when he asked, "What happened to Tony?"
"Are you kidding?" I said. "Didn't you see the `Sopranos' finale?"
"I don't get HBO."
"But you must have heard! Everyone was talking about it."
"I was busy talking about Paris Hilton," my friend explained. "So, did Tony get whacked?"
"That's a good question," I had to admit.
"I thought you saw the episode."
"Yeah, but it ended with Tony's family at a restaurant where other diners looked like they were there to kill him. Unless, of course, they were just there for the onion rings. Tony played `Don't Stop Believin' on the jukebox. Then suddenly the screen went black. And stayed black for, like, ever."
"Sounds like the audience got clipped, not Tony," my friend chortled.
"Oh, no," I corrected him, "the end was terrific! It captured life's hazy inconclusiveness. It said those six `Sopranos' seasons were just a single snapshot in a vast existential photo array."
"Huh?"
"It left us guessing," I said. "There's never been a TV finale like that, and even though the series is over and done with, I still can't stop thinking about it."
"But why dwell in the past?" my friend asked. "Can't you see the impact `The Sopranos' will have on TV in the future?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Most shows wrap things up with every episode," my friend noted. "Now, maybe they'll be more like `The Sopranos.'"
"I don't think so," I said. "Everything about `The Sopranos' was in a class by itself, including how it ended."
"Yeah, but maybe that finale was a trend in the making! Don't underestimate the way the TV industry jumps on the bandwagon of anything original and rips off whatever gets people talking. I bet right now producers are scrambling to add arty blackouts to all their shows, and make them as confusing as possible."
"I'm not so sure."
"Take a whodunit like `CSI.' As the end of the episode approaches, Grissom feels stuck. He and his team go out for a bite.
"`What looks good tonight?' says Catherine. But Grissom ignores her.
"`I don't know how to solve this case,' he sulks after ordering onion rings for the table. `I don't know what that yucky corpse is trying to TELL me.'
"`Hey, don't worry,' Catherine consoles him as `Don't Stop Believin' cranks up on the jukebox. `Focus on the good times. Isn't that what you said?'
"`I never said that,' Grissom sneers. And then ... cut to black!"
"Gee, I don't know if that sort of ending would satisfy viewers," I said. "And I'm wondering how you got that quote from `The Sopranos' when you didn't know what happened on the episode." But my friend didn't pause to reply.
"Even a series as bewildering as `Lost' could take a cue from `The Sopranos,'" he pressed on. "Viewers are counting on `Lost' to tie up all its loose ends with its finale three seasons from now. But why should it bother?"
"Because _"
"Less is more," my friend persisted. "Just imagine a finale in the `Sopranos' vein: All the `Lost' castaways are on the beach sipping pina coladas made from Dharma Initiative cocktail mix. `Don't Stop Believin' can be heard on a tape loop transmitted from the radio tower.
"`Focus on the good times,' says Kate. `Isn't that what you said, Jack?'
"`Well, it's true, I guess,' says Jack.
"But, wait! What's up with that polar bear behind the palm? And then ... cut to black!"
"That sounds kind of flaky," I argued.
"Speaking of flaky, `Heroes' could revamp its famous catch phrase: `Save the cheerleader, save the world, and wouldja save me some of those nice, flaky onion rings from Holsten's?' After all, they're `the best in the state, far as I'm concerned,' says Tony Soprano.
"The `Sopranos' formula could even work with comedies," my friend continued. "Instead of the closure of a punch line, the setup for each joke would be followed by a blackout. Then, when the episode is over, viewers could discuss what each punch line might have been."
"Sitcoms without punch lines?" I mused. "That might be an improvement."
"And why stop with dramas and comedies? This craze could be Katie Couric's salvation! Her ratings are plummeting. But why not have her anchor a retooled `CBS Evening News' that recognizes how the sprawl of events can't be understood in daily 30-minute doses?"
"You mean, screw around with the news?" I sighed.
"Katie would be careful to report nothing definite. No hard facts or specifics. She'd just suggest this or that, but always keep us guessing.
"`Try and remember the times that were good,' she would urge us as each broadcast approaches the end. Then _"
"It cuts to black with no further warning?"
"Bingo!" said my friend. "That would get people talking. Pretty cool, don't ya think?"
"Yes and no," I replied as I began to see the light. "Definitely yes and no."
