Notable quotes from the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards, announced Sunday in Beverly Hills, Calif.:
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"Golden Globes are just like the Oscars without all that esteem. The Golden Globes are to the Oscars like Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton, bit louder, bit drunker, bit trashier, and more easily bought. Allegedly. Nothing's been proved." -- Host Ricky Gervais, as he opens the show.
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"I'd like to thank Michael Fassbender for taking over the frontal nude responsibility I had." -- George Clooney, accepting best actor, motion picture drama, for "The Descendants," referring to the actor who plays a sex addict in "Shameless."
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"They write a Matt LeBlanc who, let's be honest, is way more interesting and fun than the real thing. I wish I was him." -- Matt LeBlanc, accepting best actor/TV comedy-musical, for "Episodes" in which he plays a character named "Matt LeBlanc."
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"I was talking to my mother in Jersey before I came out, and she said, "Have fun, but have you seen 'Mildred Pierce'? Guy Pearce is so good. He's going to win.' So I haven't seen 'Mildred Pierce,' but I'm sure it's really good, and I just love our moms because they keep us humble" -- Peter Dinklage, on accepting best supporting actor, TV miniseries, drama, for "Games of Thrones," referring to Pearce, one of his competitors for the award.
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"I first won this award when I was 15 for 'My So-Called Life,' and I was utterly stunned and overwhelmed as one is. And the first thing I did when I left the stage was burst into tears because I realized that I had forgotten to thank my parents. I brought my mom with me tonight, Carla." -- Clare Danes, on accepting best actress in TV series, drama.
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"I would like to thank two studios that really proved the adage that Peter and I could make the telephone book if we wanted to." -- Steven Spielberg, who won best animated feature for "The Adventures of Tin Tin," referring to his producing partner Peter Jackson.
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"I'm just trembling here. Oh my God, I'm going to fall off these high heeled shoes." -- Octavia Spencer, accepting best supporting actress/motion picture, who played a maid in "The Help."
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"Why don't you make a film our daughter can see for once?"' -- Martin Scorsese, accepting best director for "Hugo," referring to how his wife, Helen, urged him to make a children's movie.
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"I'm currently trying to conceal a massive erection." -- Seth Rogen, standing next to co-presenter Kate Beckinsale.
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"Oh boy, he's so much fun." -- Johnny Depp, referring to show host Ricky Gervais who took digs at Depp's box-office dud "The Tourist," and referred to "recreational drug use" by Depp.
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"The only thing worse than not hearing your name as a nominee is hearing it from the host." -- Gerard Butler, as he presents first award of night, referring to host Ricky Gervais' sharp digs at various stars.
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"If I'm still a virgin, Ricky, why don't you come over here and do something about it. I haven't kissed a girl in a few years ... on TV." -- Madonna, as she presents best foreign language film after being introduced by Ricky Gervais, who referred to her hit song title "Just Like a Virgin" with a loud cough.
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"I thank HBO for being absent when we needed you to be and for being present when we needed a little bit more shooting time." -- Kate Winslett, winning best actress/TV miniseries for the lead role in "Mildred Pierce," aired on HBO.
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"Right now, if I were to write a song, it would be a tap dance number." -- composer Ludovic Bource, as he accepts the award for best original score for "The Artist."
