'I felt completely betrayed:' Canadian veteran speaks out on sexual assault
Warning: This story deals with themes that some might find distressing
A Canadian veteran is speaking out about being sexually assaulted during training, telling CTV National News he felt 鈥渃ompletely betrayed鈥 by the chain of command when he reported it to his superiors.
Justin Hudson says that he was repeatedly sexually harassed and assaulted by two other male soldiers while training to be an aerospace officer 10 years ago.
He alleges that in one incident, a soldier held him down while he was sleeping while another groped him.
鈥淎t this time when I was experiencing this, I felt fear,鈥 he said. 鈥淲hen it was over I just tried to bury it.鈥
Hudson alleges other incidents where the same individuals at different times followed him into bathrooms, pinched his buttocks, exposed themselves to him and, at other times, took out their genitals and rubbed their exposed penis on his leg or rested their clothed genitals against his arm in class.
鈥淚 believe I shouted at him, and I believe I told him to f--- off,鈥 Hudson said. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 sexual assault.鈥
The ordeal severely affected him.
鈥淚 went from having a healthy state of mind to basically feeling totally worthless, feeling like my human dignity was trampled on, totally attacked [and] feeling completely embarrassed,鈥 he said.
Hudson alleges when he reported the situation to his superiors at the time, the lieutenant just 鈥渟tared him down鈥 and 鈥渁cted like he didn鈥檛 care.鈥
He also claims he was unfairly punished by poor performance reviews after he reported what happened.
Hudson says he was so distressed by the alleged assaults and the response he received from his superiors that he left the military, left Canada, and changed his name.
鈥淚 felt completely betrayed by the chain of command,鈥 he said. 鈥淧art of the reason why it took me so long to get over it, and part of the reason I left Canada is because I felt completely betrayed, and hurt, deeply, deeply hurt. I felt like the chain of command turned on me, they betrayed me.鈥
鈥淚 felt like the Canadian Armed Forces betrayed me.鈥
Hudson said he recognizes that both men and women are affected by sexual assault, but that men may struggle with coming to terms with and processing it.
鈥淎 man may possibly feel like he doesn鈥檛 want to talk about it because it鈥檚 sort of like attaching his manhood or his masculinity, so he hides it in a different way,鈥 he said. 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 want to talk about it because of the state of mind I was in. I didn鈥檛 want to bring up the memories of it鈥ou just go from a point where you鈥檙e completely destroyed inside, completely destroyed, to building yourself back up again.鈥
Hudson said the assumption or societal expectation that men should just 鈥渕an up鈥 or that they should be able to handle sexual assault is not reality.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 not the case鈥t could affect any man,鈥 he said. 鈥淛ust because you鈥檙e a man doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檙e immune from sexual assault or sexual misconduct, if you鈥檙e ganged up by a couple of people, you鈥檙e going to be mentally affected by that. 鈥
Hudson鈥檚 story comes at a time of reckoning for the Canadian Armed Forces as the institution has been rocked by successive scandals of sexual misconduct, sexual assault, sexual harassment, mismanagement of complaints along with allegations of cover-ups, obstruction and misconduct.
Several high-ranking officers have been the subject of said allegations, leading to a veritable revolving door of senior officers stepping down or stepping aside, including former defence chief Jonathan Vance and the military鈥檚 human resource officer Lt.-Gen. Steven Whelan, who took over for Vice-Admiral Haydn Edmundson who stepped aside due to a police investigation of alleged sexual assault.
Newly appointed defence minister Anita Anand, in one of her first acts in the position, announced this week that she had accepted retired Supreme Court judge Louise Arbour鈥檚 call for the transfer of investigations and prosecutions of military sexual misconduct cases to civilian authorities.
Arbour recommended all criminal cases of a sexual nature in the Canadian Armed Forces, including historical cases, be referred to civilian authorities, including cases currently under investigation unless said investigation is nearly complete.
A by the Canadian Forces Provost Marshal and the Director of Military Prosecutions acknowledged 鈥渢he current crisis of public confidence in the military justice system,鈥 and 鈥渃onsequently 鈥ill implement Mme. Arbour鈥檚 interim recommendation immediately.鈥
Charlotte Duval-Lantoine of the Canadian Global Affairs Institute said the new process of handling sexual misconduct cases in the military still leaves questions unanswered.
鈥淲hat happens if allegations are made during deployment?鈥 she said to CTV National News. 鈥淲e have questioned if this really removes the barrier of reporting because the influence of the chain of command is still there.鈥
And while Duval-Lantoine said that the armed forces are 鈥渇inally seeing change鈥 that is going to 鈥渟end a shockwave鈥 through the institution, there is still much to consider.
鈥淭he piece that is not being addressed with this recommendation is prevention,鈥 she said. 鈥淲e鈥檙e asking questions about how sexual assaults are recognized and how we can support victims better鈥ut we are not talking about the root problem that would lead to those sexual assaults.鈥
Military law expert Michel Drapeau called the move 鈥渁 game changer.鈥
鈥淚 think they got the attention of the brass and a would-be assaulter that there鈥檚 a new sheriff in town and things will not be handled the same laissez-faire way that鈥檚 been the same for the past 20 years or so,鈥 he said to CTV National News.
Hudson is cautiously optimistic about the changes, but says the culture change in the military is happening 鈥渁t a snails pace.鈥
鈥淚 support her position on that completely,鈥 he said of Anand referring the transfer of sexual misconduct cases to civilian authorities. 鈥淚t just appears to me that there鈥檚 been too many people, throughout the entire military including the prosecutor鈥檚 office that just don鈥檛 take this sexual misconduct seriously.鈥
In the future, Hudson says he wishes to go back to the military career he was so looking forward to having before his ordeal.
He has filed a new complaint against his alleged assaulters.
鈥淚鈥檓 in a good state of mind,鈥 he said. 鈥淚鈥檓 mentally ready to rejoin the military, I want to rejoin the military.鈥
------
The following is a list of resources and hotlines dedicated to supporting people in crisis:
National Residential School Crisis Line: 1-866-925-4419
Hope for Wellness Helpline (English, French, Cree, Ojibway and Inuktitut): 1-855-242-3310
Trans Lifeline: 1-877-330-6366
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868
ShelterSafe (a national list of women鈥檚 shelters and transition houses):
Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime: Call 1-877-208-0747 or Text: 1-613-208-0747
Hope for Men:
Men & Healing:
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