Warning: Readers may find details of this story disturbing
The scars on Eva Rose鈥檚 left wrist and forearm tell part of her painful journey.
As a transgender Syrian refugee who was abandoned by her family, she has attempted to take her own life. At times, this seemed like her only path to internal peace.
As Rose tries to speak about her suicide attempt, tears stream down her face.
The emotion of the memory too heavy to share. So much of her story is strewn with suffering, abuse and abandonment.
When ISIS took over Rose鈥檚 eastern Syrian village near the Iraqi border in 2014, she says a terrorist militant forced her to perform sexual acts. She was told only then that she would be safe.
鈥淚 was forced to do things against my will鈥r my life was at risk,鈥 she told CTV National News.
When asked what ISIS normally does to members of the LGBTQ2S+ community, Rose runs a finger along her throat. 鈥淭hey cut your head off.鈥
The 23 year old arrived in Canada as a refugee on June 6 after spending the last several years living as a transgender refugee in Turkey. Rose was ecstatic when the UN Refugee agency told her she鈥檇 be moving to Canada.
鈥淲hen I found out I was coming to Canada I knew as an LGBTQ person I would be able to live freely here.鈥
While she remains grateful to the government and Canadians across the country, Rose says her vision of a free, open life has so far been shattered. When she arrived she was sent to live in a Toronto area hotel with other refugees who she says verbally abuse her daily because of her sexual orientation.
During her first meal, two other refugees said to her 鈥淚f we were back home in Iraqi people like Saddam Hussein would finish all (you) people by beheading them. Unfortunately here in Canada they protect people like you,鈥 she recalled.
Rose says deep rooted cultural and religious bias against members of the LGBTQ2S+ community means she will find little comfort or sense of community from other refugees, even those from her own country.
Refugee advocate Mona Elshayal has watched as Rose has become withdrawn, sitting in her hotel room all day.
鈥淚鈥檝e seen the way people treat her, and point at her, and laugh at her like she鈥檚 a child bullied in a playground, by adults. Imagine how that feels, the fear of just stepping out of your hotel room,鈥 says Elshayal.
The federal government has made repeated promises to vulnerable refugees coming to Canada from around the world. In August, as Canada closed its embassy in Kabul, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau repeated his government's pledge, this time to the people of Afghanistan, saying the commitment to 鈥渨oman and girls, the LGBTQ communities remains unwavering.鈥
However, Rose doesn鈥檛 believe the government has upheld their promise to people like her once they finally arrive, saying her stay at the refugee hotel makes her 鈥渇eel like a criminal, but what is my crime? I鈥檓 just LGBTQ, I haven鈥檛 done anything wrong.鈥
The refugee hotel where Rose is currently staying is run by an organization called Polycultural, which is contracted out by the federal government, and paid taxpayer dollars to help care for and resettle refugees.
Elshayal says when the issue of Rose鈥檚 safety in the hotel was brought to the attention of Polycultural staff, 鈥渢hey just kind of laughed it off and said do you want us to have security guards surround her everywhere she goes, and I think they took it as more of a joke than taking things seriously.鈥
CTV National News spoke with Polycultural鈥檚 executive director over the phone Monday. He said the organization is now looking to move Rose to another hotel, that doesn鈥檛 house other refugees. The move would be a temporary fix, as they work to find her a more permanent place to live.
In a statement to CTV National News from Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada (IRCC), the department, in part, says: 鈥淭he safety and security of the refugees temporarily staying in hotels is paramount. As we previously indicated, IRCC is in constant contact with service providers to ensure they鈥檙e meeting refugees鈥 needs, from sharing information to adding resources. This includes daily updates to IRCC on activities in the hotels.鈥
The IRCC says its currently following up with Polycultural about this specific situation.
For Rose, she says she simply wants to live her life freely, and embrace her new country and all it has to offer.
The following is a list of resources and hotlines dedicated to supporting people in crisis:
Hope for Wellness Helpline (English, French, Cree, Ojibway and Inuktitut): 1-855-242-3310
Embrace Life Council hotline: 1-800-265-3333
Trans Lifeline: 1-877-330-6366
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868