When Joni Mitchell sang "We don't need no piece of paper from the city hall keeping us tied and true,'' it became an anthem for the younger generation of the 1970s eager to thumb their noses at establishment values.
But almost four decades later, common-law unions have become commonplace and they're increasingly trumping trips to the altar for divorced Canadians gun-shy about tying the knot for a second or even third time.
In released Wednesday, Statistics Canada reported huge gains in common-law relationships among people in their 40s and over in the past five years. The number of people aged 60 to 64 living common law rose 77 per cent between 2001 and 2006 -- the fastest pace of all age groups.
The agency notes that more and more Canadians may be choosing to live common-law following divorce.
"One possibility is that perhaps people who had an earlier marriage dissolution have chosen common law for a subsequent relationship,'' said Anne Milan, senior analyst at Statistics Canada.
Some 555,000 divorced Canadians were living common law in 2001, up from 371,000 a decade earlier, according to an earlier study by the agency.
After age 50, more common-law partners had previously been divorced than never legally married. There was also an increase in the proportion of people aged 50 and over living in common-law relationships who were widowed.
A direct comparison was to be made available by Statistics Canada later this year.
Sorting out why a growing number of divorcees are choosing cohabitation over a wedding ceremony is complicated, experts say.
"People find themselves in different situations, and the reasons that they have can be many and varied,'' says Clarence Lochhead, executive director of the Vanier Institute of the Family in Ottawa.
"And that's everything from questions of religious background, to moral values, to their own experience, including the divorce that they've gone through -- whether it was a bitter divorce or not -- and whether there are children involved.''
Chief among them may be a feeling of "once bitten, twice shy.''
"I suppose there's a bit of that,'' concedes Carl, who went through a nasty divorce after his wife of almost 10 years had an affair.
He now lives with a new partner and three children from their previous relationships. They consider their union a long-term commitment, he said, and eventually may marry.
"Certainly from her perspective, she would like to make it more official, more legal,'' explains Carl, who works in the Toronto financial services industry and asked that his real name not be used.
"I've been less inclined to do that in a rush.''
Ottawa sociologist Robert Glossop said research shows that wariness about saying "I do'' a second time is certainly valid: while 39 per cent of first marriages in Canada lead to separation or divorce, subsequent nuptials are even riskier, with up to 45 per cent ending in failure.
Another factor contributing to the rise in common-law unions among divorced Canadians is the increasing independence of women, many of whom no longer need to quickly marry up to ensure economic security for themselves or their children, he said.
"Women are not as financially dependent on men as they used to be,'' said Glossop. "They don't have to remarry.''
Worries about protecting hard-earned financial assets may also cause both women and men whose marriages have dissolved to think twice before inking Mr. and Mrs. on a marriage register a second time.
Bill, a 40ish Ontario businessman who split from his wife almost a decade ago, is still smarting over the chunk of equity his ex sought in their divorce agreement.
He and his twice-divorced partner Sally (both names are pseudonyms), are planning to move in together, but will maintain separate bank accounts when they do.
"We're very independent that way,'' said Bill. "(Sally's) very independent, so she wants to support herself.''
Psychologist Susan Gamache, a marriage and family therapist in Vancouver, said for those who have gone through emotionally and financially wrenching breakups, the idea of slipping on a new set of wedding bands can be a scary proposition.
"They're kind of afraid of all the contractual obligations that come with marriage and would prefer to stay clear of it,'' she said. "They're afraid that these contractual obligations will actually hurt or trap the relationship in some way that will not be good for them.''
Gamache said that for some people, "the whole notion of marriage has become quite tarnished and they don't feel well-served by it in terms of defining their intimate relationship.''
Glossop believes it's not so much that more Canadians are disdainful towards the institution of marriage _ they've simply become indifferent to it.
"A large number of people do not any longer feel that they have to seek the sanction of the church or the state in order to confirm the promises that individuals make to one another,'' he said.
"If you talk to Canadians about wanting to partner up, the desire for intimacy is there like it has always been. However, it is increasingly viewed by young and old alike as nothing less than -- but nothing more than -- a personal, private decision.''
That's the case for Lucy and Frank, retirees with grown children from previous marriages who want to remain anonymous. They said going before a minister to formalize their union has never occurred to them.
"No, we're not planning on getting married because there's no reason,'' said Lucy, a retired 50-something who lives with Frank in their jointly owned southwestern Ontario home.
"I got married the first time because I wanted children and I wanted them to have their father's name and I wanted it on the up and up,'' said Lucy, whose 20-year marriage ended about five years ago.
"I feel just as married to (Frank) as I did with my ex-husband, but it's a happier relationship.''
While not opposed to the notion of matrimony, her 60-plus partner also doesn't see the need to make their union official beyond the wills and other estate plans they've had drawn up by lawyers.
"Why bother. We've got everything else, the legalities are in place, so what else do we need?'' said Frank. "It's a wonderful relationship. Lucy and I, I don't know, we fit like a glove.''
That's a sentiment that resonates with Bill, who finds his relationship with Sally as fulfilling today as it was when they met several years ago.
"I think that both of us have `been there, done that' and don't see really the big attraction to marriage. It's like throwing a party where your friends attend, as far as we're concerned.''
"We have parties on a regular basis. We just don't need to have a wedding.''
