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He told his mother there was 'no way' he'd meet someone in Australia. Then he fell in love at first sight

Wati and Mike started socializing together after their first meeting and enjoyed each other's company. (Mike and Wati Grossman via CNN Newsource)
Wati and Mike started socializing together after their first meeting and enjoyed each other's company. (Mike and Wati Grossman via CNN Newsource)
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Mike Grossman was adamant he wasn鈥檛 going to fall for anyone in Australia.

After all, he鈥檇 only be in Melbourne for a couple of months before returning to his life in the U.S. 鈥 and Mike 鈥渨asn鈥檛 a fling type of person.鈥

But after packing up his life in Boston and beginning the long trek to Melbourne, Mike stopped off at his parents鈥 house in California, where his mother pulled him aside.

鈥淲hat will you do if you meet somebody in Australia?鈥 she asked, raising her eyebrows.

鈥淭here鈥檚 literally no way that鈥檚 going to happen,鈥 replied Mike, firmly.

He emphasized that he was going to Australia for work, not to find love.

鈥淚 emphatically told my mother that it wasn鈥檛 possible,鈥 Mike tells CNN Travel today. 鈥淎nd then off I went.鈥

Mike arrived in Melbourne, Australia, on a June morning in 1988 鈥 bleary-eyed from the travel, but looking forward to the weeks stretching before him, which seemed ripe with possibility.

鈥淚 was excited,鈥 recalls Mike. 鈥淚 had no specific plan other than just I thought it would be an interesting experience to be in a different country. That was it.鈥

'A cinematic moment'

In 1988, Mike was 23 and studying at Harvard Law School. Through the college grapevine, he鈥檇 heard about an opportunity for U.S. students to spend a couple of months as an associate at an Australian law firm. Mike applied on the off chance they鈥檇 take him on.

鈥淚 ended up getting it,鈥 says Mike. 鈥淚t happened just by accident. I鈥檇 never been anywhere remotely close to Australia before.鈥

The Harvard College campus in Cambridge, Mass. is shown in this March 7, 2017 file photo. (AP Photo/File)

While Mike thought the likelihood of finding love in Australia was next to none, he did want to push himself out of his comfort zone during his stint in Melbourne.

鈥淚鈥檓 naturally quite introverted,鈥 explains Mike.

Prior to starting law school, he鈥檇 lived in San Francisco for a year and 鈥渆nded up feeling that I had allowed my introversion to get the better of me. I stayed by myself a lot. I wasn鈥檛 very social.鈥

Mike was determined not to repeat his mistakes and to make the most of his time in Melbourne, 鈥渢o meet a lot of people, to push myself to be much more extroverted than I would naturally be.鈥

So when, at the end of his first week in the job, Mike heard the company was holding Friday drinks in the boardroom, he pushed aside his tiredness and made sure he was there.

鈥淚 even got there early,鈥 Mike recalls.

He remembers thinking: 鈥淭his is the sort of event I would never normally go to, but I鈥檓 going to it because I鈥檓 going to meet people.鈥

At first, the empty room didn鈥檛 bode well.

Wati and Mike experienced a 'cinematic moment' when they first met and fell in love in June 1988. (Mike and Wati Grossman via CNN Newsource)

鈥淏ut gradually the boardroom started filling up,鈥 recalls Mike.

He glanced around, noticing some familiar faces from his first week at work. There were smiles and handshakes and small talk and beer bottles clinking as his colleagues toasted the beginning of the weekend.

Suddenly, Mike found himself standing next to an unfamiliar face. A woman, who looked up at him, smiled and introduced herself as Wati.

It felt, for a minute, like everything else melted away. Like they were the only two people in the room. 鈥淎 cinematic moment,鈥 as Mike puts it today.

鈥淲e shook hands in the middle of the boardroom and looked at each other. It really was a lightning bolt,鈥 he says. 鈥淎nd that鈥檚 where it all started.鈥

Wati's perspective

Wati Abdurrachman was a recent graduate of Melbourne鈥檚 Monash University鈥檚 law school who, in June 1988, had just started working as a trainee lawyer.

Wati, then 24, was 鈥渞eady to buckle down and spend the year working hard,鈥 as she tells CNN Travel today.

That mindset didn鈥檛 leave much time for a social life outside of work 鈥 and Wati says the 鈥渃amaraderie amongst all the article clerks was pretty much the extent of my socializing.鈥

It helped that Wati鈥檚 twin sister, Yanti, was also a newly qualified lawyer, and working in the same building. The two sisters were close, sharing an apartment in downtown Melbourne and grateful to have each other to unload about work stress.

One evening in the first week of June, Yanti mentioned, in passing, that a young American guy had temporarily joined her department. Yanti worked in mergers and acquisitions, while Wati was in banking and finance.

鈥淏ut my sister didn鈥檛 mention Michael in any detail, only that he existed,鈥 says Wati.

When the two sisters found themselves at Friday drinks, scanning the room, Yanti pointed Mike out.

鈥淭hat鈥檚 the American,鈥 she said, nudging her sister.

Mike was vaguely aware of this exchange, out of the corner of his eye. And then suddenly Mike and Wati were standing side by side, and then shaking hands.

For Wati, meeting Mike鈥檚 eye for the first time was also 鈥渓ike something out of a movie.鈥

She still remembers what he was wearing: 鈥渁 yellow tie and a pinstripe suit.鈥 She remembers being struck by his height 鈥 there was a good several inches between them.

Most of all, Wati remembers feeling, like Mike, as though they were the only two people in the room.

Yanti picked up on the connection right away, and stepped aside to let the two of them connect.

鈥淭hen, later on, when we left, she was like, 鈥極h, so you like him,鈥欌 recalls Wati.

Getting to know one another

Wati and Mike鈥檚 first conversation at the Friday drinks was memorable, but brief, really just 鈥渙ur names, a little bit about who we were,鈥 as Mike recalls it.

Not long after that first meeting, the two arranged to have lunch together. It wasn鈥檛 a date, Mike and Wati both told themselves 鈥 just a chance to get to know someone new.

But Mike and Wati enjoyed each other鈥檚 company from the outset. Sitting opposite each other in the Italian restaurant, they found themselves leaning in to learn more about one another.

Wati particularly recalls a moment when Mike was talking about his family back in California.

鈥淭hen he whipped out his wallet and he showed me these pictures of his mum and his sister and his dad and his grandparents,鈥 recalls Wati.

She thought it was 鈥渧ery charming鈥 that twentysomething Mike carried around photos of family members in his wallet.

鈥淚t sort of spoke to his character and what his priorities were,鈥 Wati says. 鈥淗e was close to his family, and I thought that was very special.鈥

Mike and Wati didn鈥檛 talk much at work 鈥 in part because they were in different departments, and in part because the law firm didn鈥檛 encourage any hint of workplace romance.

鈥淏ut a week later, we decided to get together on a Saturday, and we spent most of the day together,鈥 recalls Mike. 鈥淭here was a (Paul) Gauguin exhibit at the National Gallery of Victoria. We walked around, got rained on. We went to dinner. And then she got me dancing, which was a scary concept.鈥

Wati took Mike to a busy discotheque, where they met up with a group of her friends.

鈥淏ack in the late 鈥80s, that was a thing that young people did,鈥 says Wati.

鈥淓xcept not this young person,鈥 says Mike, laughing.

He wasn鈥檛 a confident dancer, to put it mildly.

鈥淵eah, I remember thinking, 鈥極h my God, he鈥檚 a terrible dancer,鈥 says Wati, laughing. 鈥淩eally dorky.鈥

But Mike鈥檚 dance moves 鈥 or lack thereof 鈥 didn鈥檛 kill the connection with Wati. The next week, the two arranged to see the musical 鈥淐ats鈥 together, which was on tour in Melbourne.

When Mike鈥檚 parents discovered their son willingly bought two tickets for a feline-themed Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, they guessed his mother鈥檚 suggestion had proven true 鈥 he鈥檇 met someone. Someone significant.

鈥淏ut I鈥檓 not even sure that I had fully realized how it was starting to progress,鈥 says Mike.

By that point, it was mid-July 1988. Mike had arrived in early June. In early August, he was set to leave Australia for good.

鈥淎nd in that three week period before I left, that鈥檚 when things got really serious,鈥 recalls Mike.

Mike and Wati started spending all their free time together. They鈥檇 stay up late chatting about their lives, dreams, families, friends, favorite movies and TV shows.

鈥淥ne of the things I was very passionate about, and I鈥檓 still passionate about, is 鈥楽tar Trek,鈥欌 says Mike. 鈥淲ati had never actually seen any 鈥楽tar Trek,鈥 and so I decided it was very important that she get immersed. I rented 鈥楽tar Trek II: The Wrath of Khan鈥 鈥 and Star Trek III and IV, a big trilogy.鈥

Mike set up the VHS 鈥渢o great fanfare.鈥 Wati just about made it through the first movie, but promptly fell asleep in the second.

While Mike and Wati shared a profession, when it came to their personalities and hobbies, they were pretty different. Where Mike was quiet and introverted, Wati was pretty outgoing and confident. She loved evenings spent dancing and enjoying the theater, Mike preferred staying home watching TV (especially, as established, 鈥淪tar Trek鈥).

They came from different backgrounds too. Mike was a White American who鈥檇 been brought up by Jewish parents. Wati was an Indonesian Australian who鈥檇 grown up in a Muslim household.

Wati鈥檚 parents moved from Indonesia to Australia in the 1950s to work for the Australian Broadcasting Commission.

鈥淢y parents were amongst a handful of Asians in Australia back then,鈥 says Wati. 鈥淣ow, of course, the country is very multicultural and diverse.鈥

As an interracial couple, Wati and Mike recall being 鈥渟tared at鈥 as they went out and about in Melbourne.

鈥淚n those days, interracial relationships were less common, certainly in Australia,鈥 says Wati. 鈥淧eople assumed we weren鈥檛 together. It was a very different era.鈥

鈥淧eople also assumed we were very different,鈥 adds Mike.

But while they were different 鈥 it was on what Mike calls a 鈥渟uperficial level.鈥 He says he and Wati realized early on they shared values, and they always had fun together, always supporting one another. And while they had different pop culture tastes, they both loved cinema.

鈥淗e had this long list of American movies. While I was a snob because I like foreign films,鈥 says Wati, laughing.

鈥淭he truth is, we鈥檙e actually quite similar,鈥 says Mike.

鈥淲e both laugh at the same things,鈥 adds Wati.

鈥淲e both came from close knit families,鈥 says Mike.

It was hard to define, but it felt like they just fit together.

鈥淚t felt natural, obvious,鈥 says Mike.

Long distance

Before long it was August, and Mike鈥檚 time in Australia was drawing to a close.

鈥淎s I was getting ready to leave, it really forced a decision of sorts, of 鈥榃ell, wait a minute, is this about to end, are we going to say goodbye forever?鈥 And that didn鈥檛 seem like an option, frankly,鈥 recalls Mike.

鈥淰ery quickly there was a sense of, 鈥楾his is going to continue, and I鈥檓 going to figure out how to get back to Australia, and Wati will visit the States at some point.鈥欌

Making the decision to continue the relationship was the easy part. Making the long distance work in practice was more complicated.

When Mike went back to Boston, 10,515 miles and a pretty substantial stretch of ocean separated him from Wati.

It was the late 1980s. The only way of staying in touch was via crackly, expensive long distance phone calls and letters mailed across the globe.

鈥淚 was writing longhand letters every night to Michael, and mailing them and going to the post office,鈥 recalls Wati.

She enjoyed letter writing and grew up sending airmail to her grandparents in Indonesia. But it wasn鈥檛 an easy way to maintain a romantic relationship.

鈥淲e did not have email. Forget about Facebook,鈥 points out Wati. 鈥淭echnology was not a player. It was not a help to us at all. It was very old school 鈥 telephone and longhand letters, and also audio cassettes.鈥

Mike, not a natural letter writer, found taping cassettes an easier way of updating Wati on his life in Boston. He鈥檇 record himself talking about his thoughts and feelings, updates on college and friends and family, then package the tapes up and send them to Wati. It was a kind of less immediate, 1980s version of the voice note.

鈥淗e鈥檇 mail them to me in these little padded envelopes,鈥 recalls Wati. 鈥淭hen I鈥檇 listen to the cassettes on my Sony Walkman. We鈥檇 talk about daily life, but also background, family dynamics, what was happening at school for him, books we鈥檇 recommend, movies you have to watch鈥︹

Wati recalls sitting listening to the tapes, absorbing Mike鈥檚 words, imagining his face, wishing he was there beside her.

鈥淚t seems kind of crazy in retrospect,鈥 says Mike of the decision to embark on a long distance relationship after only a few weeks of serious dating.

鈥淚t was a leap of faith. But I鈥檓 not sure I was aware it was a leap of faith. I just felt this is what I have to do. And there was no ambivalence about it.鈥

Wati was similarly committed.

鈥淚 just felt, 鈥楾his is something. This is real. This guy is a good guy,鈥欌 she recalls.

Before Mike left Australia, his parents and sister had flown out to visit and met Wati. They鈥檇 liked her, but Mike鈥檚 parents were a little concerned about Mike moving permanently to Australia, which they thought was looking increasingly likely.

Meanwhile, Wati had introduced her parents to Mike before he left Melbourne. He鈥檇 gotten along pretty well with them, especially Wati鈥檚 father, who鈥檇 given Mike a tour of his workplace, Radio Australia.

Passengers arrive at Melbourne Airport in Melbourne on Feb. 21, 2022. (Joel Carrett/AAP Image via AP)

Wati was shocked but happy that her father and Mike seemed to gel so well.

鈥淗e never liked any of my boyfriends,鈥 Wati says. 鈥淪o it was a good sign, a good omen.鈥

But other members of Wati鈥檚 family questioned her decision to embark on a relationship with a man who lived in another country.

鈥淚 had so many naysayers on my end, people who鈥檇 met him, those who hadn鈥檛,鈥 she says. 鈥淭hey were all like, 鈥楢re you crazy?鈥欌

Still, Wati and Mike ignored other people鈥檚 worries and questions. They focused on staying in touch and finding a way to be in the same time zone again.

鈥淓ventually, I was able to figure out how to get some credit for doing a paper at Melbourne University in January 1989,鈥 recalls Mike. 鈥淪o I flew back at Christmastime and was there for about six weeks.鈥

During that period, Mike stayed with Wati in the apartment she shared with her sister 鈥 and Wati鈥檚 sister was out of town for most of the six weeks.

鈥淪o all of a sudden, we were living together,鈥 Mike recalls.

This period only brought Mike and Wati closer, and made them all the more certain they had a future together.

A trip to the U.S.

In February 1989, Mike had to return to Boston, but Wati arranged to visit him that March.

She planned to travel with her father, who鈥檇 never been to the U.S. and always wanted to go.

The idea was Mike would show Wati and her father Boston and his home state of California, and they鈥檇 also visit Washington DC and New York City.

But right before the trip, Wati鈥檚 father suffered a heart attack. He unexpectedly passed away.

The days that followed were a devastating blur.

鈥淚 wasn鈥檛 able to get back in time for the funeral, and it was really very tough,鈥 says Mike.

鈥淭here was some question of whether Wati was still going to come to the U.S. But she ended up coming, about a week or so later.鈥

Wati recalls being 鈥渋n a fog鈥 in the immediate aftermath of her father鈥檚 death. But she was glad to spend time with Mike.

鈥淲e got to see some very cool things, which I鈥檇 always wanted to see 鈥 amazing art galleries in Washington, D.C., and New York,鈥 recalls Wati. 鈥淲e didn鈥檛 really talk about my dad passing away really explicitly, but to just have the opportunity to see so many things was a perfect distraction.鈥

Plus, Mike was 鈥渧ery supportive in a not-annoying way,鈥 as Wati puts it.

鈥淰ery often it鈥檚 easy to be triggered in a way that鈥檚 uncomfortable, and he did not do that at all,鈥 she says.

And Wati was also comforted by the knowledge of how much her father had liked Mike.

A 'small but perfect' wedding

In the middle of 1989, Mike secured another seasonal job at another Melbourne law firm. And while he was there, he asked Wati to marry him.

In the lead up to the engagement, Mike and Wati had talked about marriage and decided it was the next step to securing their future together. They鈥檇 looked at rings together, and Wati 鈥 who has an eye for fashion and design 鈥 had helped design her own engagement ring.

So the proposal was far from a surprise, but the manner by which Mike went about it was unexpected.

In July 1989, while walking in the Melbourne Botanic Gardens, Mike proposed to Wati by handing her a fortune cookie.

Mike and Wati on their June 1990 wedding day in Boston. (Mike and Wati Grossman via CNN Newsource)

鈥淚 first got a fortune cookie from a Chinese restaurant. Then, I removed the existing fortune using tweezers. Then, I typed up the proposal message, and cut the paper to its appropriate size. And then, I placed the proposal message into the cookie,鈥 explains Mike.

Standing in the Botanic Gardens, Wati cracked open the cookie and read her personalized fortune: 鈥淚f you say yes, he will marry you.鈥

This was an homage to the movie 鈥淔ield of Dreams鈥 in which Kevin Costner鈥檚 main character is told, 鈥淚f you build it, they will come.鈥

It was a film Mike and Wati had watched together and both enjoyed. Wati was touched.

After another year navigating long distance, Mike and Wati were married at Harvard Memorial Church on June 9, 1990. The date was chosen for its symbolic significance for the couple.

鈥淚t was two years to the day from when we鈥檇 met in the boardroom,鈥 says Mike. 鈥淲hen I say the day, I should be more precise. We met on June 10 in Australia. We got married on June 9 in the United States. But if you do the time conversion, it actually is two years to the day.鈥

The couple chose Harvard Memorial Church because it鈥檚 an interdenominational church 鈥 this seemed appropriate, given their different religious backgrounds.

And by then, Wati and Mike had decided they would live in Australia once they got married, so the wedding taking place in the U.S. seemed like a compromise of sorts.

Wati 鈥 who took Mike鈥檚 name following the wedding, becoming Wati Grossman 鈥 says Mike 鈥渙rganized the whole day,鈥 which she was grateful for. He was local to Boston, after all, but also great at planning.

Wati describes the resulting wedding as 鈥渟mall and perfect 鈥 50 people gathering at Harvard Memorial Church followed by a reception at the nearby Sheraton Hotel. Among the attendees were Wati鈥檚 family, while her father鈥檚 best friend flew from Indonesia to walk her down the aisle.

Making decisions

After the wedding, Mike and Wati settled in Sydney, where they both started working for local law firms.

The idea was that Sydney, unlike Melbourne, was 鈥渁 place that was new for both of us,鈥 as Mike puts it.

The newlyweds weren鈥檛 sure if they鈥檇 live in Australia forever, but they figured they鈥檇 start in Sydney 鈥渁nd kind of go from there,鈥 as Mike puts it.

Mike remembers thinking that any difficulties life threw their way would be easier than their two years of navigating long distances across continents.

But looking back, he realizes he and Wati 鈥渄idn鈥檛 really know each other that well鈥 when they got married. They鈥檇 been dating for two years, but they鈥檇 never lived in the same place for an extended period of time. It could have all gone wrong when they got married.

鈥淲e were lucky,鈥 Mike says today. 鈥淚t just felt natural.鈥

鈥淚t was so fortunate, that given the leap of faith that each of us took, we each turned out to be really pretty easygoing people,鈥 agrees Wati, adding that living together in Sydney only re-emphasized that they were 鈥渆xtremely compatible, with similar values, standards, morals.鈥

Wati especially appreciated Mike鈥檚 support during that period, as she began increasingly questioning whether law was the career for her after all.

鈥淚 started thinking I potentially wanted to study fashion,鈥 Wati recalls. 鈥淚 was always making things as a kid and sewing and knitting and crocheting and embroidering 鈥 all the needle crafts 鈥 and I could see things sort of three dimensionally.鈥

Wati began looking into fashion schools, and wondered aloud to Mike about the possibility of studying in New York City. Mike was open to the idea of moving back to the U.S.

So in 1991, the couple left Australia and Wati started studying fashion at the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City. Later, she started working on Seventh Avenue, in the city鈥檚 fashion district.

When it came to their careers, Wati says there was 鈥渁n acceptance and understanding鈥 between herself and Mike 鈥渢hat it was definitely a give and take, and not both of us immediately would get what we wanted but in the long run, we would.鈥

While Wati enjoyed working in New York City鈥檚 fashion arena, Mike began contemplating a career change. In 1994, the couple relocated to California so Mike could found a start-up in Silicon Valley. In California, Wati worked for the Gap and Levis Strauss and Company, before founding her own fashion brand.

During the early years of their marriage, there were times when Wati鈥檚 career was more stable and Mike鈥檚 was in flux, and times when she was the one taking risks, and his work offered more stability.

鈥淚n this era, it wasn鈥檛 common for people to reinvent themselves,鈥 says Wati. 鈥淵ou went to school and you studied something, and then that鈥檚 what you did, and you stayed in it for decades and decades.鈥

Wati recalls some people thinking the couple were 鈥渨acky鈥 for each trying something new in their late twenties. But Mike and Wati were unwavering in their support for each other鈥檚 ambitions and dreams.

And then, in 1996, the couple welcomed their first child, a boy called Alex. Six years later, their daughter Talia was born.

Mike鈥檚 parents helped bring up the kids when Mike and Wati were busy with work, while Wati鈥檚 mother visited every year from Australia.

鈥淪he would stay for about a month or a little bit more,鈥 recalls Wati. 鈥淪he鈥檚 a very good cook, and she鈥檇 cook all this Indonesian food. And so from a very young age, the kids鈥 Indonesian-ness, their Asian-ness, was very much part of who they are.鈥

As their children grew up, Wati and Mike encouraged them to embrace all aspects of their identities.

鈥淚t was important that they understood that they were many things, and it was never a question of choosing one thing or another,鈥 says Mike, adding that 鈥渢hey鈥檙e both Australian citizens as well as U.S. citizens.鈥

Wati and Mike have always been 鈥渧ery much in step in terms of how you raise kids, and what your expectations are,鈥 says Wati.

鈥淲e have this Grossman family creed that we taught the kids from a very young age,鈥 she adds. 鈥淚t鈥檚 telling the truth, treating people well with kindness, trying your best and being original. We鈥檝e taught them that to celebrate your uniqueness is an affirmatively good thing.鈥

A life-defining love

Today, Wati and Mike still live in California. In recent years, Wati鈥檚 stepped back from her fashion brand and is focused on her magazine, Circle Ahead, which emphasizes a more environmental approach to fashion. Meanwhile Mike is taking a break after years of working as the CEO for various technology companies, although he鈥檚 still on the board of directors for a couple of corporations.

When they鈥檙e not working, the couple still enjoy evenings spent chatting and watching movies together. (Mike鈥檚 still a 鈥淪tar Trek鈥 fan, Wati still is definitely not.)

The couple鈥檚 kids are both in their 20s, finding themselves and exploring their dreams. Mike and Wati鈥檚 daughter Talia is currently studying abroad in Australia, and before she left, Wati and Mike encouraged her to approach the experience in the same way Mike jumped into his time in Melbourne.

The couple hope she鈥檒l approach the experience with an openness 鈥 鈥渙pen to experiences, open to opportunities, friendships, an open mind,鈥 as Wati puts it.

Looking back today on that 鈥渃inematic moment鈥 when Mike and Wati first crossed paths, Wati says she feels especially glad that 鈥渋n the moment I was open, open to the opportunity, open to the possibility.鈥

And when she thinks about Mike as a father, Wati thinks back to the moment he showed her photographs of his parents in his wallet, on their first lunch together.

Mike still has photos of his loved ones in his wallet to this day 鈥 but now he treasures photos of Wati and their kids.

The couple now have two kids, Alex and Talia. (Mike and Wati Grossman via CNN Newsource)

As for Mike, when he considers his 鈥渃inematic moment鈥 with Wati, he finds himself getting emotional.

鈥淔rom that first moment we met, we had an instant connection, and we鈥檝e been seamlessly aligned ever since. I鈥檓 grateful for that,鈥 he says.

鈥淚t didn鈥檛 occur to me that going to Australia for a couple months was going to redefine the entire trajectory of my life. It just wasn鈥檛 something that seemed remotely possible, but I鈥檓 incredibly thankful that it did. I just can鈥檛 imagine being more fortunate.鈥

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