SYDNEY, N.S. - Dexter Megeney, showing the inner strength that often comes with being a former military man, maintained his composure while speaking Thursday about how his life has been "turned upside down" since his son was accidentally killed by a fellow soldier in Afghanistan two years ago.
But the soft-spoken man, testifying at a sentencing hearing for the reservist convicted of fatally shooting 25-year-old Cpl. Kevin Megeney, broke down and couldn't go on when he tried to recall the youthful enthusiasm in his son's voice.
"He used to say, 'Hey, Dad ..."' said the father of three from Stellarton, N.S., before looking at the floor and shaking his head, his voice trailing off.
"It was a bit louder than that."
Cpl. Matthew Wilcox, a 24-year-old soldier from Glace Bay, N.S., was convicted in July of criminal negligence causing death and neglect of duty. A charge of manslaughter was stayed.
Wilcox's court martial heard evidence that he and Megeney -- both reservists with the Nova Scotia Highlanders -- were playing a game of quick-draw when Wilcox fatally shot his close friend in the chest.
Earlier, Wilcox testified that he had acted in self defence, instinctively firing his 9-millimetre Browning pistol without looking when he heard someone behind him cocking the hammer on a gun inside his tent at Kandahar Airfield.
On Thursday, the second day of Wilcox's sentencing hearing, Dexter Megeney described his son as one of his "buddies," a vibrant young man who enjoyed fishing, playing golf and shooting pool with his dad.
"It turned my life upside down, knowing that he wasn't coming home," he told the military court, set up at the Victoria Park garrison in Sydney.
"We had a lot of plans."
The father spoke of how his son had asked him to finish some work on his truck while he was deployed to Afghanistan, and how he had planned to have the vehicle waiting at the airport when his son returned home.
Dexter Megeney also said the two had planned to drive across Canada at some point.
One of the military prosecutors, Maj. Jason Samson, then asked the elder Megeney about the impact the shooting had on his life.
He replied that he no longer sleeps well and has started smoking again after giving up the habit four years ago. As well, he takes up to 18 pills a day to control stress.
"I just gave up," he said. "I didn't want to do anything for two years ... I just couldn't handle him being killed."
He said he visits his son's grave almost every day, and sometimes returns for another visit the same day when he finds himself driving around, unable to decide what to do with his time.
Dexter Megeney's wife Karen, his daughter Lisa and his brother George also testified that their lives have been shattered by the young man's death.
Karen Megeney, a nurse who spoke with a strong, clear voice, described her son as fine young man who had plans to buy a house with his sweetheart, get married and go back to school.
"His face glowed when he was around her," she said, adding that the young woman puts a dozen yellow roses on Kevin's grave every month.
"Can you think of what kind of a wife or mother she would have been?"
Karen Megeney also said her son was proud of serving in Afghanistan.
"He told me how he loved the people over there," she said. "He knew it was the right thing to do."
But she, too, has had trouble coping with his death.
She said the entire Megeney family rarely gathers for family dinners, as her two daughters find it difficult being together.
Aside from lack of sleep, Karen Megeney said she's losing her memory and often drifts off in the middle of conversations.
"On March 6, 2007, my life was destroyed," she said. "I'm just empty."
