NEW YORK - "High School Musical" in the ice rink: The possibilities tease the brain. Tonya Harding as blond mean girl Sharpay? Nancy Kerrigan as dark-haired sweetheart Gabriella? Oops. We're like, TOTALLY dating ourselves.
Anyway, the tween audience isn't here to see medal-worthy double axels, triple salchows and camel spins. They're here to sing along with every word of every song, by now irreversibly implanted in their brains.
But it must be said that the skating in "High School Musical: The Ice Tour" is perfectly enjoyable, as is the choreography, faithfully transplanted from film to ice. So if the kids don't notice, the adults probably will -- that is, if they can get over the price of the pre-packed cotton candy topped by a plastic bowler hat (15 smackeroos, at Madison Square Garden's kickoff performances last weekend).
The ice tour is just one tentacle of the huge HSM franchise, which has included a concert tour, a current stage show and a wide merchandising net. (The original movie soundtrack was the top-selling CD of 2006.) Produced by the film's director, Kenny Ortega, and Feld Entertainment, it consists of three companies: two domestic and one international.
On premiere night, Ortega whipped his young fans into readiness, shouting repeatedly: "What team?" The crowd roared back: "WILDCATS!" (And if you didn't know the answer to that one, you likely don't have a kid - especially of the female variety - between six and 13.)
The songs are punctuated by just enough snippets of dialogue to make the plot clear, not that most kids need any help with the, um, plot thing. Their favourite moments happen when they can show they know what's coming next, as when Kelsi, the songwriter, begs them to think up a title for her new song - the one that starts "Na na na na. . . ." (You know.)
The show clears up at least one mystery: Can you dribble a basketball on ice? Why, yes -- a slew of them fall to the rink for the catchy "Get'cha Head in the Game." The surface also allows the Esther Williams-style bathing beauties in Sharpay's "Fabulous" to glide around on inflatable pool floats.
And you could argue that Troy's defiant "Bet on It" anthem is actually more palatable here than in the movie, where he looked kind of silly (well, some of us adults think) dressed in all black on a sun-drenched lawn, swinging a golf club for dramatic emphasis.
Speaking of clothes, the brightly coloured costumes are fervently faithful to the original, down to Sharpay's cute pink suit. But maybe one of them could have been a little less faithful. Those ankle-length scarves worn by Ms. Darbus, the flamboyant drama teacher? TOTALLY scary on the ice.