LONDON, U.K. -- We started out this lockdown 10 weeks ago without a thermometer in the house. Who needs one right, when you don鈥檛 have kids to worry about? Adults get a little fever, they tough it out.
We now have a digital thermometer that beeps when you point it at your forehead, a pulse oximeter that monitors the amount of oxygen in your body, a UV-C light sanitizer that kills microbes, plus, packages of antibacterial wipes and bottles of antibacterial hand gel within easy reach.
You think that鈥檚 extreme? We have a friend who won鈥檛 allow a parcel into the house until it鈥檚 been sitting outside for 48 hours to decontaminate.
Sometimes it gets tricky, and tense.
Another friend, who is 84, treats the lockdown and coronavirus as a big joke. She still goes out shopping and claims she wears a mask, but we all think she鈥檚 just saying that.
鈥淚t鈥檚 okay darling,鈥 she says. 鈥淚鈥檓 not going to get it.鈥
Some of her dearest friends are now refusing to meet her in the park because she鈥檚 not being careful. It鈥檚 causing a terrible rift that may not heal.
Boris Johnson has declared a semi-lockdown, quasi-lockdown, half-lockdown, or not much of a lockdown at all when you look at crowded parks and beach parties over the last weekend.
Hundreds of people had to be cleared from a beach called Durdle Door in Dorset after three people were injured jumping off a 60-metre-high sea arch. Crowds below were yelling at them to jump.
And a lot of garbage got left behind in what felt like a frenzy of intentional littering. Come on, that can鈥檛 be true?
Here鈥檚 what had to deal with:
鈥淥ur rangers spent this morning at a beauty spot collecting 20 bags of rubbish, including nappies, socks, shoes, towels, chairs, gas canisters, BBQs, beer bottles, food and broken glass"
Another park tweeted that it took a 鈥渉ammering.鈥
You can now meet six unrelated people outside your home, keeping your distance of course. I have to ask, why not five? Why not seven?
The government鈥檚 own scientists are worried about easing the lockdown too soon, but Boris Johnson is Borising ahead.
Many believe he鈥檚 trying to divert attention from his toxic chief adviser Dominic Cummings, who flagrantly broke the lockdown rules and refused to apologize.
Toxic, because the country is livid and the prime minister鈥檚 popularity has taken a nosedive.
Here鈥檚 my favourite part of the story. After recovering from COVID-19, Cummings went on a 鈥渢est drive鈥 with his four-year-old son strapped in the back seat鈥攖o make sure his eyesight was okay for the trip home to London.
A respected columnist suggested that any other rules breakers now have a built-in defence: 鈥淚t鈥檚 okay officer, I鈥檓 just doing a Cummings.鈥
A British brewery by the name of Brewdog, couldn鈥檛 resist the temptation. It created a special beer in Cummings鈥 honour called
鈥淪hort sighted beer for tall stories.鈥
The first batch sold out. A second is on the way.
