LONDON, U.K. -- I have another Boris Johnson story.
Want to hear it? Of course you do.
After all, he almost died of coronavirus.
It goes like this:
The PM was having a discussion with his team about plans for lifting the country鈥檚 lockdown.
There was to be a big communications roll out with a new national catch phrase: 鈥渟tay alert,鈥 instead of 鈥渟tay at home.鈥
Johnson had a question for the circle of powerful people assembled around him:
鈥淲ho鈥檚 in charge of implementing this delivery plan?鈥
He turned to the U.K.鈥檚 top civil servant, Sir Mark Sedwill.
鈥淚s it you?鈥
There was an awkward silence,
鈥淣o,鈥 came the reply. 鈥淚 think it鈥檚 you, prime minister.鈥
Okay, how about a story about the new leader of the Labour Party, Sir Keir Starmer?
What if I tell you it鈥檚 about a donkey?
Two days ago, The Daily Mail 鈥渞evealed鈥 that Sir Keir had purchased some land in 1996, which is now worth around $17 million鈥攊f he decided to sell it.
Shame, implied the headline鈥攖hat a 鈥溾 should be so rich.
Wait for it, the best part is coming.
It turns out Sir Keir bought the land for his late disabled mother鈥攖o be used as a sanctuary for rescued donkeys.
A statement from the Labour leader鈥檚 office added this poignant detail:
鈥淎fter his mother lost the ability to walk, the field allowed her to still watch the donkeys from her home.鈥
Let me offer a little sample of how that played out on Twitter:
鈥淎t least Keir Starmer put his donkeys in a field, not in the cabinet.鈥
What shall we talk about next? As you can see, it鈥檚 one of those jumble-sale lockdown days. This blog may be nearing its point of natural destruction, like an asteroid streaking towards earth.
Okay, Marks & Spencer it is.
What could be more British, right? Socks and underwear. Gingerbread cookies. Can鈥檛 beat M & S.
How about a bottle of hand sanitizer for $17.05?
Exploitation, screamed customers. Total rip-off. It was noted that a similar-sized bottle was selling at a well-known British pharmacy for $7.
鈥淚 have to say, I am in shock,鈥 said one shopper. 鈥淲here is the integrity?鈥
The hand sanitizer in question comes from Turkey. M & S said it made a mistake and initially priced the bottle at $25. It offered to refund the difference.
The final word鈥攐n Day 57 of our collective effort to stay alive鈥攇oes to the U.K.鈥檚 competition watchdog, which has been flooded with complaints about pandemic price gouging.
In the first month after the virus hit, the average price for hand sanitizer went up by鈥ait for it鈥376 per cent.
