TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION: 2 STARS FOR NEWBIES, 4 STARS FOR FANS
The advertising tagline for 鈥淭ransformers: Age of Extinction鈥� is 鈥淭his is not war, it's extinction,鈥� which is catchy enough, I suppose, but having seen it I couldn鈥檛 help but think that 鈥淐um on Feel the Noize,鈥� a song lyric by either Slade or Quiet Riot, depending on your age, would have been more appropriate.
Michael Bay鈥檚 latest is eardrum shatteringly loud, guaranteed to leave you with ringing ears and a rumbling theatre seat. Visually, expect scorched eyes. Bay has made a movie for three of your five senses鈥攐nly smell and taste are exempt鈥攂ut will it entertain your brain while launching an all out assault on your senses?
Picking up four years after the invasion of Chicago seen in the last Transformers film, 鈥淒ark of the Moon,鈥� the action begins when unemployed robotic engineer Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) and daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz) uncover deactivated Autobot, Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) hidden under a pile of junk. Their discovery puts them in the crosshairs of CIA agent Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer) and tech tycoon Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci). The two are hatching a plan, fueled by equal parts paranoia and genius, to build man made second generation Transformers to seek out and destroy the Autobots. 鈥淎 new era has begun,鈥� says Attinger, 鈥渁nd the age of Transformers is over.鈥�
Everybody loves spectacle. The Romans had the Coliseum and we have the 鈥淭ransformers鈥� movies. Like the gladiatorial shows of yore, in Michael Bay鈥檚 movies it doesn鈥檛 matter who lives or dies鈥攖he films don鈥檛 care about their human characters and neither do we鈥攁ll that matters is the spectacle of the whole thing and at almost frenetic three hours 鈥淎ge of Extinction鈥� certainly delivers on that score. Like the old Roman emperors many moviegoers will give this movie a thumbs up simply because of the value per minute the film offers.
No one can accuse Bay of skimping on鈥� well anything. 鈥淎ge of Extinction鈥� is a wide ranging action orgy that plays off of Bush era Homeland Security paranoia and also explains why dinosaurs became extinct. It comments on the ethics of unarmed warfare and blows up most of Hong Kong.
Bay doesn鈥檛 do anything by half measures but I found myself wishing the movie was about half as long as it is with half the bombast. It鈥檚 stylish鈥斺�淲hy run when you can run in slow motion,鈥� Bay seems to be asking鈥攏ot unlike a car commercial, but is excessive on almost every level. I don鈥檛 expect or want 鈥淢y Dinner with Optimus Prime,鈥� but in this case I think less would have been more.
Wahlberg brings loads of personality and humor with his over-protective father routine, Tucci is reliable as ever and Grammer is in full-on Dick Cheney mode but who cares? We鈥檙e not paying to see them, we鈥檙e paying to see Optimus Prime play bucking bronco with a giant dinobot.
Is 鈥淭ransformers: Age of Extinction鈥� a good movie? Not really. Does it deliver on its promise? Yes, but almost too much so.
THEY CAME TOGETHER: 3 STARS
"They Came Together," a new satire starring Paul Rudd and Amy Poehler, is the last romantic comedy you'll ever need to see. A pastiche of every rom com cliché, it鈥檚 a movie about sex and the city. Or maybe about what women want. Or perhaps it鈥檚 about friends with benefits. Actually, it鈥檚 about love, actually. Imagine one part "Airplane" and one part of every Kate Hudson romance and you get the idea.
Heading up a who鈥檚 who of a comedy cast, Rudd and Poehler play Joel and Molly, an unlikely couple who fall in love at first sight. He鈥檚 an executive at a candy company, she runs an independent confectionary shop called the Upper Sweet Side.
His company is trying to drive her store out of business so they can control NYC鈥檚 candy lucrative market, but despite their differences they find some common ground. "You like fiction books, too? No way!"
They also do all the things that people in rom coms do, but with a twist. In the standard 鈥淲hat am I going to wear montage鈥� Molly ends up trying on a dozen outfits before deciding on a suit of armor. Joel sprints to declare his love for Molly only to wind up in a sword fight with her jealous ex-husband (an unexpected, but hilarious Michael Shannon). Meeting her parents takes a turn when they are revealed to be white supremacists there鈥檚 even the mandatory Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year's montage. The only thing missing is Julia Roberts鈥檚 trademark guffaw.
Bookending the whole thing is a dinner conversation where Joel and Molly describe how they met to friends Karen (Ellie Kemper) and Kyle (Bill Hader).
Poking fun at romantic comedies is easy but for the most part 鈥淭hey Came Together鈥� does it well. It hits a bull鈥檚 eye time after time with the tropes plucked from rom coms but presented with a spin. For instance, Joel plays basketball with his pals, each of whom gives him romantic advice, but none have names, they are simply introduced by the rom com trope they represent.
When 鈥淭hey Came Together鈥� riffs on the absurdities of the genre it works, but too often it winks at the camera and becomes a little too self aware. With their looks and chemistry, Rudd and Poehler are rom com ready, but occasionally their eagerness to sell the joke gets in the way of letting the laughs and the parody happen naturally.
Ultimately, for all its insight and style鈥攑itch perfect rom com soft lighting and pop soundtrack鈥斺�淭hey Came Together鈥� is stretched a little thin at feature length. As a skit or a short film it might have been a cutting parody of an over-worked genre. At eighty-three minutes it is harder to love.
