When Morgan DeCairos DeBoer received an anonymous letter in the mail accusing her young boys of playing too loudly in their own backyard, she couldn鈥檛 put it out of her mind.
鈥淚 was disturbed,鈥� she told CTVNews.ca. 鈥淓very little sound the kids were making, I was like, 鈥業s that what they feel is too loud?鈥欌��
The letter arrived stamped and sealed in an envelope via Canada Post last week with no return address, signed from 鈥淵our Neighbors (sic).鈥�
鈥淭his is a friendly request which I felt is better done through the mail,鈥� . 鈥淚 am one of several neighbors (sic) who are frustrated with the frequent screaming and shrieking your children make while playing in your back yard. This is very disruptive whether we are outside or inside and interrupts whatever we are doing, be it TV, reading or napping.鈥�
Heading into March break, the Newmarket, Ont., family of six -- including four boys all under the age of six -- felt on edge, unable to play freely in their backyard. They鈥檝e lived in the Woodland Hills area of Newmarket for a few years now. With three elementary schools within walking distance, it鈥檚 a young family neighbourhood that was built just 15 years ago. They have never seen anyone leering over fences angrily, and are friendly with their next-door neighbours and those across the street, who all know the kids鈥� names. They walk to the bus every morning together and have never been involved with any community drama.
But the letter upended that. 鈥淚 was second guessing myself, 鈥楢re my kids loud?鈥欌�� said DeCairos DeBoer. During a recent night spent thinking about the letter, she took to social media at 2:30 a.m.
鈥淚 couldn鈥檛 sleep. I had to get it out,鈥� she said. 鈥淭his coward didn鈥檛 even come to my door and I can鈥檛 defend myself.鈥�
She has received resounding support from other parents on Facebook after posting the letter, some even offering to bring drums and party supplies for a backyard gathering with their children too. 鈥淜ids need to be outdoors more, not less,鈥� wrote one supporter. 鈥淪cream louder, play harder boys,鈥� wrote another. 鈥淒ear Morgan's neighbours, Maybe suburbia isn't for you,鈥� teased someone else.
DeCairos DeBoer hopes the neighbourhood debacle encourages other parents to let their kids play outside the way they want to.
鈥淜ids gotta get out and do their thing,鈥� she said. Though she was initially uncomfortable letting the boys in the backyard again, six-year-old Phoenix, four-year-old Quinn, two-year-old Gabriel and nine-month-old Benjamin are having a normal March break at home. 鈥淚鈥檓 not going to do anything differently,鈥� said their mom.
Her anonymous neighbour would have it a different way. In the letter, they offer a few suggestions for DeCairos DeBoer when her children are outside.
鈥淲e encourage you to correct your child when he screams by saying 鈥楶lease stop that yelling鈥� or something like that,鈥� the neighbour wrote.
DeCairos DeBoer鈥檚 response? 鈥淚f you had kids and you say stop yelling it only makes them yell louder. If they鈥檙e having an altercation outside I listen and try to let them work it out. If they don鈥檛, in a minute I intervene,鈥� she said.
鈥淧erhaps if you supervised them while they were in the back yard it would help,鈥� they suggested.
DeCairos DeBoer said she does, though sometimes she might be supervising with the screen door cracked while making dinner as the baby sleeps. 鈥淜ids need independent play. The safest place is in my backyard,鈥� she said. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 see a problem with that.
鈥淥ther possibilities would be to take them to the park?鈥� the neighbour offered.
Their mother鈥檚 contention with the park suggestion is that she has four kids, including a nine-month old, who take about 30 minutes just to get dressed and ready for the park, which is a 10 to 15 minute walk away. 鈥淎fter school, it鈥檚 not something that I can do,鈥� she said.
鈥淚t should be possible to have them play without screaming and in the long run be helpful to them,鈥� they wrote.
DeCairos DeBoer suspects their neighbour is older and without kids around anymore. 鈥淚f you鈥檝e ever read anything about early education, it鈥檚 about letting them be independent and letting them use their voice in the way they want to get their frustration out and show their emotions a little better. If we鈥檙e constantly telling them how to be, they don鈥檛 how to know regulate themselves,鈥� she said.
While the family isn鈥檛 sure who the neighbour could be, they have their suspicions that it might be new neighbours on the street behind them, where several houses have sold in the last six months to a year. Regardless, DeCairos DeBoer isn鈥檛 going to change anything because of an anonymous letter.
鈥淚f they鈥檙e hiding then they鈥檙e not worth my time,鈥� she says.
鈥淚鈥檓 going to put a smile on my face when I walk out with my kids and say hi to my neighbours.鈥�
