TORONTO -- October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Sadly not only do most victims experience domestic violence, victims tend to also suffer financial abuse. Without access to financial means, some may feel trapped and stay in dysfunctional relationships far longer then they should or want to. 

When it comes to your financial life, no one will ever care more about your financial situation or future than you do. 

So how can you take charge now to ensure you aren't trapped in a horrible situation and have options available to you?

Signs of financial abuse:

  1. Never abdicate financial responsibility to someone else. That doesn't mean you can't have joint bank accounts, if that makes sense to your household then fine, but it also doesn't mean you remain in the dark on your financial situation. Both individuals need to know what is going on. Even if things are going well in a relationship, set up weekly or monthly updates to stay on top of your financial data. This also provides a great opportunity to set financial goals together to ensure you are on the same page in building your financial life together. 
  2. In a perfect household you would have full, true and plain disclosure around how money is spent and no secret bank accounts. Common signs of abuse are when one partner must ask permission to spend money, when assets are hidden, or even when one partner forbids the other to work outside the home, fearing they may gain financial independence.
  3. There is no reason to feel shame, embarrassment or not tell your story. Sharing helps you to feel less alone, and there are resources online, at financial institutions and even books that help you learn the basics of financial planning if you feel unequipped to handle the money basics.
  4. Unfortunately, simply leaving a bad relationship doesn't guarantee financial freedom. If bills have been left unpaid, rent neglected, or there is outstanding debt for example, these factors can conspire to leave you financially vulnerable for years. 

If you do plan on leaving, consider the following to help set you up with the basics:

  1. Set up your own bank account.
  2. Have a credit card in your name alone - look to build or repair your credit rating.
  3. Have 6 months鈥� living expenses set aside.
  4. Create a budget of expected costs.

I believe there is a difference between financial abuse and financial stress. During the pandemic, some households have been struggling to make ends meet and that can lead to financial stress; however, when the stress mounts the potential is there it could lead to financial and physical abuse. 

For more information about services within your community, begin by contacting a lawyer, legal aid, a local women's crisis centre or your local police.

You may feel like you are all alone; however, there are resources depending on your situation, to ensure you don't have to get out of a bad situation on your own.