NEW YORK - It should be easy to find the next "American Idol" in Hollywood, right?
Well, not so much. Only 19 aspiring singers managed to impress the judges during auditions for the talent contest, which airs in Canada on CTV, in Los Angeles, which attracted a slew of tone-deaf performers.
"What is going on with this show? ... Strange show, man," Randy Jackson mused on Wednesday's program, after sitting through another weak love song.
One optimistic hopeful named Martik, who went by the stage name "Eccentric," rendered Simon Cowell speechless by prowling about like a panther. Another guy was dressed like a banana and repeated "peanut butter jelly time" over and over.
A 20-year-old brunette named Marianna got down on her knees and begged for a second chance after Cowell told her she "sounded like Cher after she's been to the dentist."
The acerbic judge also passed on a flirtatious female singer, who made him "nervous" by licking her lips and winking at him while her devoted boyfriend stood outside.
It wasn't all snark and silliness, though. Sherman, a man of 64 who lost his "lady" to cancer two days before his audition, moved Paula Abdul to tears with his rendition of "You Belong to Me." Cowell even played good cop and called him a "class act."
Still, he didn't make it through to Hollywood. Among those who did were a soulful crooner who once sang backup for Christina Aguilera, and a Shakira lookalike praised by Cowell as "really, really, really great."
(Another opinion: She was really, really, really just OK, but good looks can significantly improve one's chances on "Idol." Last year's Ace Young should know this firsthand.)
Los Angeles was one of seven cities where tryouts were held last summer. The next "Idol" episode, on Tuesday, will feature the San Antonio auditions.