The ultraviolent action extravaganza "300" is based on Frank Miller's graphic novel, but did it have to be so cartoonish?
Director/co-writer Zack Snyder (the "Dawn of the Dead" remake) painstakingly recreated the comic-book panels by placing actors in front of virtual backgrounds, similar to the technique used in the superior film version of Miller's "Sin City" in 2005. Clearly, he's not aiming to reflect reality on any level. But Snyder's depiction of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae, in which 300 Spartans fought off a much larger Persian army, is so over-the-top it's laughable -- so self-serious, it's hard to take seriously.
The effects are extremely cool at first; with the help of cinematographer Larry Fong, visual effects supervisor Chris Watts and a team of many others, Snyder has very much created a unique world -- dark, dramatic and visually gripping, with increasingly imaginative foes along the way. (A giant rhinoceros, an armada of elephants -- sure, why not? Bring 'em all on.) But the gimmick wears off quickly and ultimately becomes overbearing; Tyler Bates' pounding score and the profuse use of voiceover certainly don't help.
Gerard Butler, who's buffed up significantly since starring in the corny film version of "The Phantom of the Opera," comes off as a poor-man's Mel Gibson in "Braveheart." As King Leonidas, he leads his meager but muscular troops into battle with repeated roars of "This is where we fight! This is where we die!" and such, ad nauseam. (Kurt Johnstad and Michael B. Gordon also worked on the script.)
Leonidas has trained his entire life for this fight, as we see in the film's beginning, where he's taken from his family as a boy and taught to survive in the wild in a pure, driven, almost animalistic manner. By the time we reach 480 B.C., he rules Sparta alongside the beautiful Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey in a series of plunging ensembles that manage to stay on her body although the film takes place centuries prior to the invention of double-stick tape).
Once the Persian army threatens to overtake Sparta, led by the megalomaniacal Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro in eye liner, gold chains and piercings), Leonidas must assemble his men into action (but first, a good-bye romp with the wife that's straight out of late-night Skinemax).
Despite their comparatively small numbers, the Spartans are a model of unity and organization. That stuff about duty and honor and dying a beautiful death -- they buy into all of it. (This is not exactly "Flags of Our Fathers.") What they lack in size they make up for in solidarity, so when the sky turns dark with a storm of Persian arrows, they're ready for it, having turned their shields into a wall of unbroken metal.
The violence is inventive, almost balletic in the way it's dragged out and sped up to emphasize its rhythms. Spears pierce the thick, brownish-gray haze, blood splatters, an arm or a leg goes flying -- all visceral, intense stuff. After a while, though, you can only see so many slo-mo beheadings.
Leonidas also faces an enemy from within: a deformed Spartan named Ephialtes (Andrew Tiernan) who begs to join the fight but is turned away because he isn't physically up for the challenge and reacts vengefully by giving away secrets to Xerxes. Think of him as the creepily fascinating Gollum figure in the film.
Meanwhile, back at home, he faces another threat from a council member (a sinister Dominic West) who's trying to sabotage him publicly and privately, even as the queen lobbies the council to send more even troops to aid in the protracted fight.
It might actually seem relevant if weren't so ridiculous.
"300," a Warner Bros. release, is rated R for graphic battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and nudity. Running time: 117 minutes.
Two stars out of four.
